Women's Bible Study - October 25th, 2023 - Review and New Topic: Forgiveness
October 25, 2023 · Deborah · Root
Scripture referenced 14 passages
The passage this message was preached from, in full, with every other passage it reached for.
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Ephesians 4 Paul explains how we can walk out of darkness into light, covering renewal of thoughts and attitudes, putting on the new nature, and not bringing sorrow to the Holy Spirit
1 I therefore, the prisoner in the Lord, beg you to walk worthily of the calling with which you were called,
2 with all lowliness and humility, with patience, bearing with one another in love;
3 being eager to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.
4 There is one body, and one Spirit, even as you also were called in one hope of your calling;
5 one Lord, one faith, one baptism,
6 one God and Father of all, who is over all, and through all, and in us all.
7 But to each one of us was the grace given according to the measure of the gift of Christ.
8 Therefore he says, “When he ascended on high, he led captivity captive, and gave gifts to men.”
9 Now this, “He ascended”, what is it but that he also first descended into the lower parts of the earth?
10 He who descended is the one who also ascended far above all the heavens, that he might fill all things.
11 He gave some to be apostles; and some, prophets; and some, evangelists; and some, shepherds and teachers;
12 for the perfecting of the saints, to the work of serving, to the building up of the body of Christ;
13 until we all attain to the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to a full grown man, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ;
14 that we may no longer be children, tossed back and forth and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the trickery of men, in craftiness, after the wiles of error;
15 but speaking truth in love, we may grow up in all things into him, who is the head, Christ;
16 from whom all the body, being fitted and knit together through that which every joint supplies, according to the working in measure of each individual part, makes the body increase to the building up of itself in love.
17 This I say therefore, and testify in the Lord, that you no longer walk as the rest of the Gentiles also walk, in the futility of their mind,
18 being darkened in their understanding, alienated from the life of God, because of the ignorance that is in them, because of the hardening of their hearts;
19 who having become callous gave themselves up to lust, to work all uncleanness with greediness.
20 But you did not learn Christ that way;
21 if indeed you heard him, and were taught in him, even as truth is in Jesus:
22 that you put away, as concerning your former way of life, the old man, that grows corrupt after the lusts of deceit;
23 and that you be renewed in the spirit of your mind,
24 and put on the new man, who in the likeness of God has been created in righteousness and holiness of truth.
25 Therefore putting away falsehood, speak truth each one with his neighbor. For we are members of one another.
26 “Be angry, and don’t sin.” Don’t let the sun go down on your wrath,
27 and don’t give place to the devil.
28 Let him who stole steal no more; but rather let him labor, producing with his hands something that is good, that he may have something to give to him who has need.
29 Let no corrupt speech proceed out of your mouth, but only what is good for building others up as the need may be, that it may give grace to those who hear.
30 Don’t grieve the Holy Spirit of God, in whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.
31 Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, outcry, and slander, be put away from you, with all malice.
32 And be kind to one another, tender hearted, forgiving each other, just as God also in Christ forgave you.
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Keep this verse
1 Chronicles 12:32
the people of Issachar understood what was happening and knew what to do, used to illustrate spiritual awakening
32 Of the children of Issachar, men who had understanding of the times, to know what Israel ought to do, their heads were two hundred; and all their brothers were at their command.
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Isaiah 44:21b-22a
the Lord saying He made us, will not forget us, and has swept away our sins like a cloud and scattered our offenses like the morning mist
Keep this verseMatthew 18
the parable of the unforgiving servant, a king forgiving a massive debt while that servant refused to forgive a small one
1 In that hour the disciples came to Jesus, saying, “Who then is greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven?”
2 Jesus called a little child to himself, and set him in the middle of them,
3 and said, “Most certainly I tell you, unless you turn, and become as little children, you will in no way enter into the Kingdom of Heaven.
4 Whoever therefore humbles himself as this little child, the same is the greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven.
5 Whoever receives one such little child in my name receives me,
6 but whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to stumble, it would be better for him that a huge millstone should be hung around his neck, and that he should be sunk in the depths of the sea.
7 “Woe to the world because of occasions of stumbling! For it must be that the occasions come, but woe to that person through whom the occasion comes!
8 If your hand or your foot causes you to stumble, cut it off, and cast it from you. It is better for you to enter into life maimed or crippled, rather than having two hands or two feet to be cast into the eternal fire.
9 If your eye causes you to stumble, pluck it out, and cast it from you. It is better for you to enter into life with one eye, rather than having two eyes to be cast into the Gehenna of fire.
10 See that you don’t despise one of these little ones, for I tell you that in heaven their angels always see the face of my Father who is in heaven.
11 For the Son of Man came to save that which was lost.
12 “What do you think? If a man has one hundred sheep, and one of them goes astray, doesn’t he leave the ninety-nine, go to the mountains, and seek that which has gone astray?
13 If he finds it, most certainly I tell you, he rejoices over it more than over the ninety-nine which have not gone astray.
14 Even so it is not the will of your Father who is in heaven that one of these little ones should perish.
15 “If your brother sins against you, go, show him his fault between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained back your brother.
16 But if he doesn’t listen, take one or two more with you, that at the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.
17 If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the assembly. If he refuses to hear the assembly also, let him be to you as a Gentile or a tax collector.
18 Most certainly I tell you, whatever things you bind on earth will have been bound in heaven, and whatever things you release on earth will have been released in heaven.
19 Again, assuredly I tell you, that if two of you will agree on earth concerning anything that they will ask, it will be done for them by my Father who is in heaven.
20 For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there I am in the middle of them.”
21 Then Peter came and said to him, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Until seven times?”
22 Jesus said to him, “I don’t tell you until seven times, but, until seventy times seven.
23 Therefore the Kingdom of Heaven is like a certain king, who wanted to reconcile accounts with his servants.
24 When he had begun to reconcile, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents.
25 But because he couldn’t pay, his lord commanded him to be sold, with his wife, his children, and all that he had, and payment to be made.
26 The servant therefore fell down and knelt before him, saying, ‘Lord, have patience with me, and I will repay you all!’
27 The lord of that servant, being moved with compassion, released him, and forgave him the debt.
28 “But that servant went out, and found one of his fellow servants, who owed him one hundred denarii, and he grabbed him, and took him by the throat, saying, ‘Pay me what you owe!’
29 “So his fellow servant fell down at his feet and begged him, saying, ‘Have patience with me, and I will repay you!’
30 He would not, but went and cast him into prison, until he should pay back that which was due.
31 So when his fellow servants saw what was done, they were exceedingly sorry, and came and told their lord all that was done.
32 Then his lord called him in, and said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt, because you begged me.
33 Shouldn’t you also have had mercy on your fellow servant, even as I had mercy on you?’
34 His lord was angry, and delivered him to the tormentors, until he should pay all that was due to him.
35 So my heavenly Father will also do to you, if you don’t each forgive your brother from your hearts for his misdeeds.”
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Hebrews 10
Jesus's sacrifice was the perfect sacrifice by the perfect man to perfect imperfect people, and He wipes our slate clean
1 For the law, having a shadow of the good to come, not the very image of the things, can never with the same sacrifices year by year, which they offer continually, make perfect those who draw near.
2 Or else wouldn’t they have ceased to be offered, because the worshipers, having been once cleansed, would have had no more consciousness of sins?
3 But in those sacrifices there is a yearly reminder of sins.
4 For it is impossible that the blood of bulls and goats should take away sins.
5 Therefore when he comes into the world, he says, “Sacrifice and offering you didn’t desire, but you prepared a body for me.
6 You had no pleasure in whole burnt offerings and sacrifices for sin.
7 Then I said, ‘Behold, I have come (in the scroll of the book it is written of me) to do your will, O God.’”
8 Previously saying, “Sacrifices and offerings and whole burnt offerings and sacrifices for sin you didn’t desire, neither had pleasure in them” (those which are offered according to the law),
9 then he has said, “Behold, I have come to do your will.” He takes away the first, that he may establish the second,
10 by which will we have been sanctified through the offering of the body of Jesus Christ once for all.
11 Every priest indeed stands day by day serving and often offering the same sacrifices, which can never take away sins,
12 but he, when he had offered one sacrifice for sins forever, sat down on the right hand of God;
13 from that time waiting until his enemies are made the footstool of his feet.
14 For by one offering he has perfected forever those who are being sanctified.
15 The Holy Spirit also testifies to us, for after saying,
16 “This is the covenant that I will make with them: ‘After those days,’ says the Lord, ‘I will put my laws on their heart, I will also write them on their mind;’” then he says,
17 “I will remember their sins and their iniquities no more.”
18 Now where remission of these is, there is no more offering for sin.
19 Having therefore, brothers, boldness to enter into the holy place by the blood of Jesus,
20 by the way which he dedicated for us, a new and living way, through the veil, that is to say, his flesh;
21 and having a great priest over God’s house,
22 let’s draw near with a true heart in fullness of faith, having our hearts sprinkled from an evil conscience, and having our body washed with pure water,
23 let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering; for he who promised is faithful.
24 Let us consider how to provoke one another to love and good works,
25 not forsaking our own assembling together, as the custom of some is, but exhorting one another; and so much the more, as you see the Day approaching.
26 For if we sin willfully after we have received the knowledge of the truth, there remains no more a sacrifice for sins,
27 but a certain fearful expectation of judgment, and a fierceness of fire which will devour the adversaries.
28 A man who disregards Moses’ law dies without compassion on the word of two or three witnesses.
29 How much worse punishment do you think he will be judged worthy of who has trodden under foot the Son of God, and has counted the blood of the covenant with which he was sanctified an unholy thing, and has insulted the Spirit of grace?
30 For we know him who said, “Vengeance belongs to me,” says the Lord, “I will repay.” Again, “The Lord will judge his people.”
31 It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God.
32 But remember the former days, in which, after you were enlightened, you endured a great struggle with sufferings;
33 partly, being exposed to both reproaches and oppressions; and partly, becoming partakers with those who were treated so.
34 For you both had compassion on me in my chains, and joyfully accepted the plundering of your possessions, knowing that you have for yourselves a better possession and an enduring one in the heavens.
35 Therefore don’t throw away your boldness, which has a great reward.
36 For you need endurance so that, having done the will of God, you may receive the promise.
37 “In a very little while, he who comes will come, and will not wait.
38 But the righteous will live by faith. If he shrinks back, my soul has no pleasure in him.”
39 But we are not of those who shrink back to destruction, but of those who have faith to the saving of the soul.
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Matthew 18:34
the angry king sent the unforgiving servant to prison to be tortured until he paid his entire debt
34 His lord was angry, and delivered him to the tormentors, until he should pay all that was due to him.
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Matthew 18:35
Jesus says this is how the heavenly Father will treat each person unless they learn to forgive
35 So my heavenly Father will also do to you, if you don’t each forgive your brother from your hearts for his misdeeds.”
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Ecclesiastes 7:20
not a single person on earth is always good and never sins
20 Surely there is not a righteous man on earth, who does good and doesn’t sin.
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Proverbs 19:11
it is to one's glory to overlook an offense
11 The discretion of a man makes him slow to anger. It is his glory to overlook an offense.
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Proverbs 17:9
love forgets mistakes, and nagging about them separates close relationships
9 He who covers an offense promotes love; but he who repeats a matter separates best friends.
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Matthew 18
if your brother or sister sins, go point out their fault just between the two of you
1 In that hour the disciples came to Jesus, saying, “Who then is greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven?”
2 Jesus called a little child to himself, and set him in the middle of them,
3 and said, “Most certainly I tell you, unless you turn, and become as little children, you will in no way enter into the Kingdom of Heaven.
4 Whoever therefore humbles himself as this little child, the same is the greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven.
5 Whoever receives one such little child in my name receives me,
6 but whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to stumble, it would be better for him that a huge millstone should be hung around his neck, and that he should be sunk in the depths of the sea.
7 “Woe to the world because of occasions of stumbling! For it must be that the occasions come, but woe to that person through whom the occasion comes!
8 If your hand or your foot causes you to stumble, cut it off, and cast it from you. It is better for you to enter into life maimed or crippled, rather than having two hands or two feet to be cast into the eternal fire.
9 If your eye causes you to stumble, pluck it out, and cast it from you. It is better for you to enter into life with one eye, rather than having two eyes to be cast into the Gehenna of fire.
10 See that you don’t despise one of these little ones, for I tell you that in heaven their angels always see the face of my Father who is in heaven.
11 For the Son of Man came to save that which was lost.
12 “What do you think? If a man has one hundred sheep, and one of them goes astray, doesn’t he leave the ninety-nine, go to the mountains, and seek that which has gone astray?
13 If he finds it, most certainly I tell you, he rejoices over it more than over the ninety-nine which have not gone astray.
14 Even so it is not the will of your Father who is in heaven that one of these little ones should perish.
15 “If your brother sins against you, go, show him his fault between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained back your brother.
16 But if he doesn’t listen, take one or two more with you, that at the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.
17 If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the assembly. If he refuses to hear the assembly also, let him be to you as a Gentile or a tax collector.
18 Most certainly I tell you, whatever things you bind on earth will have been bound in heaven, and whatever things you release on earth will have been released in heaven.
19 Again, assuredly I tell you, that if two of you will agree on earth concerning anything that they will ask, it will be done for them by my Father who is in heaven.
20 For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there I am in the middle of them.”
21 Then Peter came and said to him, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Until seven times?”
22 Jesus said to him, “I don’t tell you until seven times, but, until seventy times seven.
23 Therefore the Kingdom of Heaven is like a certain king, who wanted to reconcile accounts with his servants.
24 When he had begun to reconcile, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents.
25 But because he couldn’t pay, his lord commanded him to be sold, with his wife, his children, and all that he had, and payment to be made.
26 The servant therefore fell down and knelt before him, saying, ‘Lord, have patience with me, and I will repay you all!’
27 The lord of that servant, being moved with compassion, released him, and forgave him the debt.
28 “But that servant went out, and found one of his fellow servants, who owed him one hundred denarii, and he grabbed him, and took him by the throat, saying, ‘Pay me what you owe!’
29 “So his fellow servant fell down at his feet and begged him, saying, ‘Have patience with me, and I will repay you!’
30 He would not, but went and cast him into prison, until he should pay back that which was due.
31 So when his fellow servants saw what was done, they were exceedingly sorry, and came and told their lord all that was done.
32 Then his lord called him in, and said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt, because you begged me.
33 Shouldn’t you also have had mercy on your fellow servant, even as I had mercy on you?’
34 His lord was angry, and delivered him to the tormentors, until he should pay all that was due to him.
35 So my heavenly Father will also do to you, if you don’t each forgive your brother from your hearts for his misdeeds.”
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Luke 17:3
if your brother or sister sins against you, rebuke them, and if they repent, forgive them
3 Be careful. If your brother sins against you, rebuke him. If he repents, forgive him.
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Luke 6:28
bless those who curse you and pray for those who hurt you
28 bless those who curse you, and pray for those who mistreat you.
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Jeremiah 33:3
if you call on God He will answer and tell you things you do not know, cited in context of fasting and seeking breakthrough on deep forgiveness
3 ‘Call to me, and I will answer you, and will show you great and difficult things, which you don’t know.’
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Recap
The message in order, in a few minutes of reading.
This was the closing session of a women's Bible study series called "Root It," led by Deborah. She used the session to review the themes of the study before spending most of her time on what she said kept surfacing throughout the weeks: unforgiveness as the single biggest barrier to the spiritual life the series had been pointing toward.
What was said
Deborah opened by walking through each chapter of the study in sequence. Return, remain, reap, resolve, remnant, revival: each theme had built on the last, and she said the through line was a world that is shifting in ways that are not going back. She pointed to current events, including a sudden Category 5 hurricane near Acapulco and rising antisemitism in the United States, as signs that the stakes for rootedness in Jesus are only growing. Her point was not fear but urgency: the remnant who choose to follow Jesus when the culture does not will be marked and protected by the Holy Spirit.
She said that almost every conversation she had during the study eventually ran into the same wall, and she felt the Holy Spirit pressing her to address it directly. That wall is unforgiveness. She grounded her teaching in Ephesians 4, where Paul closes a long list of sins to put away with a call to be "kind to each other, tender hearted, forgiving one another just as God through Christ has forgiven you."
She told the parable of the unforgiving servant from Matthew 18 at length. A king forgives an impossible debt, and the forgiven man immediately throws someone else in prison over ten dollars. Deborah said Jesus does not leave the application to our imagination: "This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you learn to forgive." She said the tormentors who came for the man in prison represent the bitterness and anger that eat a person alive from the inside, stealing sleep and stealing joy.
From there she moved through what she said she has learned about forgiveness over twenty-eight years of teaching. The first thing is not to confuse petty offenses with deep wounds. Proverbs 19:11, she said, calls it beautiful and honorable to overlook an offense, and most grumpy or careless words fall into that category and should simply be let go.
For genuine deep wounds, she said godly confrontation is necessary, following the pattern of Matthew 18. But she was careful about motive: she said she does not confront anyone until she can honestly say she wants reconciliation and peace rather than payback. If someone repents, forgiveness is not optional. If someone refuses to repent and keeps causing harm, she said the relationship can and sometimes should end, while forgiveness of the person continues. She described a situation in her own life where, after years of following the Matthew 18 process with someone who kept repeating the same behavior, she felt the Holy Spirit release her from continuing to engage.
She closed by talking about what to do when forgiveness feels genuinely out of reach. Praying for the person who hurt you, she said, is the tool she trusts most, citing Timothy Keller's observation that it is hard to stay angry at someone you are praying for. For one situation early in her life that prayer alone could not seem to break, she said she fasted for five days, and that during that fast the Holy Spirit told her things she had not known about the person and brought a real release. She also described the practice of writing out the hurt by hand, giving it to God, and then refusing to replay the mental tape when it surfaces again.
Doing a Bible study?
Here is a guide we have prepared for you: the passages in order, questions for the group, and room to write.
- Deborah described forgiveness as already bought and paid for before we even turn to God, and she compared it to someone paying for her meal at Pika's before she even ordered. Has there been a moment in your own life when that truth felt real to you rather than just familiar, and what brought you there?
- Deborah said that what we do on a daily basis affects how we think, how we feel, the choices we make, and how we respond to what is happening around us. What spiritual habits have you found actually shape you over time, and which ones have you struggled to keep?
and 3 more questions in the guide
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