Women's Bible Study - February 14th, 2024 - Live with Purpose

February 14, 2024 · Deborah · James

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Series · James · Week 20 of 23

Scripture referenced 15 passages

The passage this message was preached from, in full, with every other passage it reached for.

John 10 Jesus says his sheep recognize his voice and come to him

1 “Most certainly, I tell you, one who doesn’t enter by the door into the sheep fold, but climbs up some other way, the same is a thief and a robber.
2 But one who enters in by the door is the shepherd of the sheep.
3 The gatekeeper opens the gate for him, and the sheep listen to his voice. He calls his own sheep by name, and leads them out.
4 Whenever he brings out his own sheep, he goes before them, and the sheep follow him, for they know his voice.
5 They will by no means follow a stranger, but will flee from him; for they don’t know the voice of strangers.”
6 Jesus spoke this parable to them, but they didn’t understand what he was telling them.
7 Jesus therefore said to them again, “Most certainly, I tell you, I am the sheep’s door.
8 All who came before me are thieves and robbers, but the sheep didn’t listen to them.
9 I am the door. If anyone enters in by me, he will be saved, and will go in and go out, and will find pasture.
10 The thief only comes to steal, kill, and destroy. I came that they may have life, and may have it abundantly.
11 I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep.
12 He who is a hired hand, and not a shepherd, who doesn’t own the sheep, sees the wolf coming, leaves the sheep, and flees. The wolf snatches the sheep, and scatters them.
13 The hired hand flees because he is a hired hand, and doesn’t care for the sheep.
14 I am the good shepherd. I know my own, and I’m known by my own;
15 even as the Father knows me, and I know the Father. I lay down my life for the sheep.
16 I have other sheep, which are not of this fold. I must bring them also, and they will hear my voice. They will become one flock with one shepherd.
17 Therefore the Father loves me, because I lay down my life, that I may take it again.
18 No one takes it away from me, but I lay it down by myself. I have power to lay it down, and I have power to take it again. I received this commandment from my Father.”
19 Therefore a division arose again among the Jews because of these words.
20 Many of them said, “He has a demon, and is insane! Why do you listen to him?”
21 Others said, “These are not the sayings of one possessed by a demon. It isn’t possible for a demon to open the eyes of the blind, is it?”
22 It was the Feast of the Dedication at Jerusalem.
23 It was winter, and Jesus was walking in the temple, in Solomon’s porch.
24 The Jews therefore came around him and said to him, “How long will you hold us in suspense? If you are the Christ, tell us plainly.”
25 Jesus answered them, “I told you, and you don’t believe. The works that I do in my Father’s name, these testify about me.
26 But you don’t believe, because you are not of my sheep, as I told you.
27 My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me.
28 I give eternal life to them. They will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of my hand.
29 My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all. No one is able to snatch them out of my Father’s hand.
30 I and the Father are one.”
31 Therefore Jews took up stones again to stone him.
32 Jesus answered them, “I have shown you many good works from my Father. For which of those works do you stone me?”
33 The Jews answered him, “We don’t stone you for a good work, but for blasphemy: because you, being a man, make yourself God.”
34 Jesus answered them, “Isn’t it written in your law, ‘I said, you are gods?’
35 If he called them gods, to whom the word of God came (and the Scripture can’t be broken),
36 do you say of him whom the Father sanctified and sent into the world, ‘You blaspheme,’ because I said, ‘I am the Son of God?’
37 If I don’t do the works of my Father, don’t believe me.
38 But if I do them, though you don’t believe me, believe the works; that you may know and believe that the Father is in me, and I in the Father.”
39 They sought again to seize him, and he went out of their hand.
40 He went away again beyond the Jordan into the place where John was baptizing at first, and there he stayed.
41 Many came to him. They said, “John indeed did no sign, but everything that John said about this man is true.”
42 Many believed in him there.

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James 2

even the demons have knowledge but have not submitted to God

1 My brothers, don’t hold the faith of our Lord Jesus Christ of glory with partiality.

2 For if a man with a gold ring, in fine clothing, comes into your synagogue, and a poor man in filthy clothing also comes in;

3 and you pay special attention to him who wears the fine clothing, and say, “Sit here in a good place”; and you tell the poor man, “Stand there,” or “Sit by my footstool”;

4 haven’t you shown partiality among yourselves, and become judges with evil thoughts?

5 Listen, my beloved brothers. Didn’t God choose those who are poor in this world to be rich in faith, and heirs of the Kingdom which he promised to those who love him?

6 But you have dishonored the poor man. Don’t the rich oppress you, and personally drag you before the courts?

7 Don’t they blaspheme the honorable name by which you are called?

8 However, if you fulfill the royal law, according to the Scripture, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself,” you do well.

9 But if you show partiality, you commit sin, being convicted by the law as transgressors.

10 For whoever keeps the whole law, and yet stumbles in one point, he has become guilty of all.

11 For he who said, “Do not commit adultery,” also said, “Do not commit murder.” Now if you do not commit adultery, but murder, you have become a transgressor of the law.

12 So speak, and so do, as men who are to be judged by a law of freedom.

13 For judgment is without mercy to him who has shown no mercy. Mercy triumphs over judgment.

14 What good is it, my brothers, if a man says he has faith, but has no works? Can faith save him?

15 And if a brother or sister is naked and in lack of daily food,

16 and one of you tells them, “Go in peace, be warmed and filled”; and yet you didn’t give them the things the body needs, what good is it?

17 Even so faith, if it has no works, is dead in itself.

18 Yes, a man will say, “You have faith, and I have works.” Show me your faith without works, and I by my works will show you my faith.

19 You believe that God is one. You do well. The demons also believe, and shudder.

20 But do you want to know, vain man, that faith apart from works is dead?

21 Wasn’t Abraham our father justified by works, in that he offered up Isaac his son on the altar?

22 You see that faith worked with his works, and by works faith was perfected;

23 and the Scripture was fulfilled which says, “Abraham believed God, and it was accounted to him as righteousness”; and he was called the friend of God.

24 You see then that by works, a man is justified, and not only by faith.

25 In the same way, wasn’t Rahab the prostitute also justified by works, in that she received the messengers, and sent them out another way?

26 For as the body apart from the spirit is dead, even so faith apart from works is dead.

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Matthew 7:14

narrow is the gate and difficult is the way that leads to life

14 How narrow is the gate, and restricted is the way that leads to life! Few are those who find it.

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Mark 8:34

Jesus tells the crowd to give up their own way and follow him

34 He called the multitude to himself with his disciples, and said to them, “Whoever wants to come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me.

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James 4:1-2

quarrels and fights come from evil desires at war within you

1 Where do wars and fightings among you come from? Don’t they come from your pleasures that war in your members?

2 You lust, and don’t have. You murder and covet, and can’t obtain. You fight and make war. You don’t have, because you don’t ask.

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James 4:4-6

friendship with the world makes you an enemy of God; God is a fiercely jealous lover

4 You adulterers and adulteresses, don’t you know that friendship with the world is hostility toward God? Whoever therefore wants to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God.

5 Or do you think that the Scripture says in vain, “The Spirit who lives in us yearns jealously”?

6 But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, “God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble.”

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Lamentations 3:23

every day God has mercies waiting with your name on it because of his great faithfulness

23 They are new every morning. Great is your faithfulness.

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1 John 1:9

confess to God and he is faithful to forgive you

9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us the sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

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Hebrews 10:23

hold firmly to the confession of hope without wavering because God is faithful

23 let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering; for he who promised is faithful.

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2 Thessalonians 3:3

the Lord is faithful and will strengthen and protect you from the evil one

3 But the Lord is faithful, who will establish you, and guard you from the evil one.

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Leviticus 19

do not bear false witness, do not slander, love your brother and sister

1 Yahweh spoke to Moses, saying,

2 “Speak to all the congregation of the children of Israel, and tell them, ‘You shall be holy; for I, Yahweh your God, am holy.

3 “‘Each one of you shall respect his mother and his father. You shall keep my Sabbaths. I am Yahweh your God.

4 “‘Don’t turn to idols, nor make molten gods for yourselves. I am Yahweh your God.

5 “‘When you offer a sacrifice of peace offerings to Yahweh, you shall offer it so that you may be accepted.

6 It shall be eaten the same day you offer it, and on the next day: and if anything remains until the third day, it shall be burned with fire.

7 If it is eaten at all on the third day, it is an abomination. It will not be accepted;

8 but everyone who eats it shall bear his iniquity, because he has profaned the holy thing of Yahweh, and that soul shall be cut off from his people.

9 “‘When you reap the harvest of your land, you shall not wholly reap the corners of your field, neither shall you gather the gleanings of your harvest.

10 You shall not glean your vineyard, neither shall you gather the fallen grapes of your vineyard. You shall leave them for the poor and for the foreigner. I am Yahweh your God.

11 “‘You shall not steal. “‘You shall not lie. “‘You shall not deceive one another.

12 “‘You shall not swear by my name falsely, and profane the name of your God. I am Yahweh.

13 “‘You shall not oppress your neighbor, nor rob him. “‘The wages of a hired servant shall not remain with you all night until the morning.

14 “‘You shall not curse the deaf, nor put a stumbling block before the blind; but you shall fear your God. I am Yahweh.

15 “‘You shall do no injustice in judgment. You shall not be partial to the poor, nor show favoritism to the great; but you shall judge your neighbor in righteousness.

16 “‘You shall not go up and down as a slanderer among your people. “‘You shall not endanger the life of your neighbor. I am Yahweh.

17 “‘You shall not hate your brother in your heart. You shall surely rebuke your neighbor, and not bear sin because of him.

18 “‘You shall not take vengeance, nor bear any grudge against the children of your people; but you shall love your neighbor as yourself. I am Yahweh.

19 “‘You shall keep my statutes. “‘You shall not cross-breed different kinds of animals. “‘You shall not sow your field with two kinds of seed; “‘Don’t wear a garment made of two kinds of material.

20 “‘If a man lies carnally with a woman who is a slave girl, pledged to be married to another man, and not ransomed, or given her freedom; they shall be punished. They shall not be put to death, because she was not free.

21 He shall bring his trespass offering to Yahweh, to the door of the Tent of Meeting, even a ram for a trespass offering.

22 The priest shall make atonement for him with the ram of the trespass offering before Yahweh for his sin which he has committed: and the sin which he has committed shall be forgiven him.

23 “‘When you come into the land, and have planted all kinds of trees for food, then you shall count their fruit as forbidden. Three years they shall be forbidden to you. It shall not be eaten.

24 But in the fourth year all its fruit shall be holy, for giving praise to Yahweh.

25 In the fifth year you shall eat its fruit, that it may yield its increase to you. I am Yahweh your God.

26 “‘You shall not eat any meat with the blood still in it. You shall not use enchantments, nor practice sorcery.

27 “‘You shall not cut the hair on the sides of your head or clip off the edge of your beard.

28 “‘You shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor tattoo any marks on you. I am Yahweh.

29 “‘Don’t profane your daughter, to make her a prostitute; lest the land fall to prostitution, and the land become full of wickedness.

30 “‘You shall keep my Sabbaths, and reverence my sanctuary; I am Yahweh.

31 “‘Don’t turn to those who are mediums, nor to the wizards. Don’t seek them out, to be defiled by them. I am Yahweh your God.

32 “‘You shall rise up before the gray head, and honor the face of an old man, and you shall fear your God. I am Yahweh.

33 “‘If a stranger lives as a foreigner with you in your land, you shall not do him wrong.

34 The stranger who lives as a foreigner with you shall be to you as the native-born among you, and you shall love him as yourself; for you lived as foreigners in the land of Egypt. I am Yahweh your God.

35 “‘You shall do no unrighteousness in judgment, in measures of length, of weight, or of quantity.

36 You shall have just balances, just weights, a just ephah, and a just hin. I am Yahweh your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt.

37 “‘You shall observe all my statutes, and all my ordinances, and do them. I am Yahweh.’”

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Galatians 6:4

pay careful attention to your own work and you will not need to compare yourself to others

4 But let each man examine his own work, and then he will have reason to boast in himself, and not in someone else.

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Matthew 18:15-17

if someone sins against you go to them privately, then take one or two witnesses, then tell it to the church

15 “If your brother sins against you, go, show him his fault between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained back your brother.

16 But if he doesn’t listen, take one or two more with you, that at the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.

17 If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the assembly. If he refuses to hear the assembly also, let him be to you as a Gentile or a tax collector.

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James 4:11

do not slander one another or speak against a brother or sister

11 Don’t speak against one another, brothers. He who speaks against a brother and judges his brother, speaks against the law and judges the law. But if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law, but a judge.

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James 4:14

your life is like morning fog, here for a moment and then gone

14 Whereas you don’t know what your life will be like tomorrow. For what is your life? For you are a vapor, that appears for a little time, and then vanishes away.

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Recap

The message in order, in a few minutes of reading.

Deborah taught through James 4 at the women's Bible study, covering the roots of quarrels and division in the church, the seriousness of slander, and what it actually looks like to submit to God rather than simply being committed to Him. She worked through the chapter honestly, drawing on her own experiences and on teaching from Pastor Todd Wagner, Tim Keller, and Mark Batterson. The thread running through everything was the difference between drifting toward what we want and deliberately staying on the narrow path with God.

What was said

Deborah opened by picking up where last week's session on the tongue left off. She reminded the group why they gather at all, returning to the image of a rope: the small red zone of this life, and the vast white stretch of eternity. Of the two things God says truly matter while we are here, His word and our relationships, James 4 is almost entirely about the second one. James is not interested in head knowledge, she said, because even demons have that. He is interested in whether we respond to what we hear.

She drew a sharp line between being committed to God and being submitted to Him. Commitment, she said, can mean loving the idea of a God who makes your life go well. Submission means something harder: seeing success as partnering with God on His path, hearing His direction, and trusting that nudge in your heart that says a certain direction is not His best for you. The fruit that comes from that kind of submission, the joy and steadiness that other people can actually see, is something we cannot produce on our own.

Moving into James 4:1-3, she noted that the root of almost every quarrel is either jealousy or hurt. She asked the group to pause before pointing fingers at others and take their own inventory first. She also talked about people who are simply committed to causing conflict. After years of trying to make things right with everyone, she said the Holy Spirit had told her plainly that some people are not your people, and it is right to let them go while keeping your heart open if they ever repent.

On the warning about friendship with the world and spiritual adultery, Deborah slowed down. Status, image, money, and popularity are not sinful in themselves, she said, but they become sinful when we believe they will satisfy us more than God will. She connected the adultery language in James to the real pain of betrayal, and then turned it around: that is the pain we give Jesus when we go looking for satisfaction somewhere else. Against that, she stacked several passages on God's faithfulness, including Lamentations 3:3, 1 John 1:9, Hebrews 10:23, and 2 Thessalonians 3:3, to show that His side of that relationship does not waver.

She spent time on pride because James ties it directly to blocked grace. She reframed humility not as thinking less of yourself but as thinking of yourself less, and pointed out that self-demotion is just as much a form of pride as self-promotion. Both, she said, are obsessions with yourself coming from different angles. The Pharisees were her example: they had God in the flesh standing in front of them and decided He had nothing to teach them. The acid test for humility, she said, is whether you still have a teachable spirit.

The second half of the message focused on slander. She noted that the Greek word James uses, diabolos, is the same root as our word devil, and means a false accuser who criticizes with intent to hurt. When we slander someone, she said, we are acting as a witness for the devil. She then walked through the practical steps she uses when someone hurts her: going to God first rather than her phone, asking whether there is any truth in what was said, and then going directly to the person with a posture aimed at reconciliation, not at winning. She followed the Matthew 18 pattern, including what to do if the person refuses to listen, while being honest that almost nobody takes all of those steps.

Deborah closed by returning to James's image of life as morning fog, here for a moment and then gone. She tied that back to the whole chapter: the path is narrow, dying to yourself is genuinely hard, and we will drift. But James's word acts like a bumper, she said, nudging us back when we drift toward jealousy, slander, or pride. Her prayer for the week was that the women would hear God calling them by name, recognize His mercies as new each morning, and clear the kinks out of the line so His grace can flow freely.

Doing a Bible study?

Here is a guide we have prepared for you: the passages in order, questions for the group, and room to write.

Deborah described the difference between being committed to God and being truly submitted to Him. What does that difference look like in your own daily life?
James says our fights and quarrels come from jealousy or from being hurt by someone. When you read a passage like that, what is your honest first reaction, and who or what comes to mind?

and 3 more questions in the guide

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DeborahDid it again.

Speaker 2The Good morning, everybody. We're gonna we're starting a little late because we always do, but also because we're waiting on people. Just kidding. We try.

Speaker 3Well,

Speaker 2I'm just gonna open up in prayer, and we thank you for making it and sticking it out and showing up. I think it's gonna be awesome. You get what you want out of it. Oh, father, we are here to seek you, to worship you, to love you, to know you more. Thank you for your son that gave us full access to the father.

There's nothing that separates us. No powers. Nothing separates us from your love. Nothing separates us from worshiping you and loving on you today. So we come boldly before you.

And we just wanna love on you right now, Lord, and and hopefully we just get loved right back and we feel it. And you take us into your arms and just let us know it's okay. You got this. So draw us close to you right now, Lord. You said in your word.

If we draw close to you, you'll draw close to us, and so we do that right now. And you promise that you will draw close to us. It's in your word. You said you will, and so even now you are.

Speaker 3Earth shakes. The whole earth shakes. I see his love and mercy washing over all our sin. The people sing. The people sing.

Hosanna. Have loved me.

Speaker 2Break my heart.

Speaker 3Break my heart for what breaks yours. Eternity. Eternity. Eternity.

Speaker 2Jesus, you are an eternity.

Speaker 3Eternity. Eternity. You are eternal life, Jesus. You.

Speaker 2To me.

Speaker 3Before I took a breath, you breathed your life in me. Fight till love found leaves the 99. I couldn't earn it. I don't deserve it. Still,

Speaker 2When I was your foe.

Speaker 3I was your foe, still your love fought for me. You have been so, so good

Speaker 2Lord, we just I pray that right now. I just ask for those lies, God, that hinder us. Reveal those, God, if right now, we don't really believe that you would go seek the one for just me, that I'm worthy for you to seek just me to come after me. That's a lie, that you don't love us that much. So we just ask even now right now, shatter that lie.

Shatter that lie over our hearts. Thank you, father, for your love that shatters those walls. And even if it means it makes our life a little messy because we gotta let down those walls, we invite you to break them down, to surrender our control, Jesus. We thank you for Deborah and her words today. Thank you for the wisdom that you've already spoken to her.

So we just ask, father, we open our hearts, and Holy Spirit ask for you to teach us today. In Jesus' name.

DeborahAmen. Amen. Good morning. Well, when I walked in this morning, one of the girls said, I didn't like this chapter. And I should have said, how do you think I feel?

I have to teach this chapter. I mean, slander and submission is not usually a teacher's favorite topics to go over. But I think we're gonna have a lot of good takeaways today. And on your handout, you'll notice there aren't like points to fill in because this chapter just didn't lend to that, but I gave you some of my main takeaways from this chapter. So, okay, James, what is this week about, ladies?

And I hope I do an okay job holding this microphone because even though my DNA says I have no Italian, I love to use my hands. So hopefully, I'll keep it right here. Okay. So James, last week, we talked about the tongue. Right?

And throughout James, you've probably noticed that he really draws a lot of his teaching from the Sermon on the Mount and from Proverbs. And I was just thinking about this going, my goodness, if I could just live those two teachings, we would all be so great, wouldn't we? And I just wanna encourage you, if you're in a season where you're just, your feet hit the pavement running and you fall into bed exhausted and you're thinking, I cannot get in the word, you can read a psalm and a proverb every day and it will have a huge impact on your life. Just one psalm, one proverb, the bare minimum, you can do that. So last week we talked about the tongue and James was drawing from the book of wisdom and have you thought about what Tim Keller said?

I just loved his quote so much that when we open the word of God, when we open Proverbs, it's not to learn a set of rules, but it's about pursuing and falling in love with a person. It's about pursuing and falling in love with Jesus. And when we open his word, we start to hear his voice. That's the whole point of us coming together, right? We want that wisdom in that direction.

In John 10, Jesus says, my sheep recognize my voice and they come to me. They come to me. I love what author Mark Batterson says. He says, when you open your Bible, God opens his mouth. And when we open our Bible, Jesus says, you will hear me because I will call you by name and lead you.

Have you ever heard the Lord call you by name? I mean, this isn't an audible voice, but just in your spirit saying, hey, Deborah, where have you been all day? I missed you. He will call you by name, Louisa, Char, Cat. He calls us by name to lead us.

He walks ahead of us and we follow him because we start to recognize his voice. And Jesus says, if you spend enough time with me, you're gonna recognize the voices out there that are not from me because they're not the voice of truth. And you don't feel as comfortable with that voice anymore, you're gonna desire my voice. And we open his word, why? Why?

Do you remember the rope? The rope just applies every week, I think. You know, we're just in this little red zone called life, and then for all of eternity, we're the white part of the rope. And why do we open God's word? Because we are eternal souls, and there are only two things that God tells us in his word really, really matter while you're on earth.

Two things, do you know what they are? His word because it's eternal, because it's really who God is. And he's saying I'm the same God that was there with Adam and Eve, I'm the same God that's here today with you, and I will be the same God that you spend all of eternity with. So open this and get to know me because this letter is written to you. It's written to you.

And what's the second thing that's eternal? The second thing that really matters while we're in this earth, his word and our relationships. Our relationship with God and my relationship with others because that's what is going to determine my entire eternity. So it's no surprise that this very first book written to the early believers, this very first book of James, James drills down on relationships. That's what this book is all about.

James is telling us we have to make intentional choices to spend time with the Lord, intentional choices to promote unity, intentional choices to control this tongue that we have and this behavior that we have. And I was thinking, you know, that is such a good word because why do we even come here together? We don't come here to get knowledge in our head because James two tells us what? Even the demons have a lot of knowledge. They know Jesus came.

They were there. They know he died on the cross, they know he resurrected, but they're still demons with all that knowledge. Why? Because he's not Lord of their life. And this whole chapter's about submitting.

They haven't submitted to him. And the other reason is they don't respond to what he tells us to do. So we come here, we open his word, and hopefully we respond to it. We say, okay, Lord, give me a word today, show me how to practice your way. We respond to it.

And remember what James said last week? You know, people always say, oh, well, you know, Christians aren't perfect. And what keeps coming up in James is it's not about perfection because he says you're never gonna arrive this side of heaven. It's not about perfection, it's about direction. What direction are you building your life on?

What direction are you going? And this chapter, in chapter four, James is like, hello, church, you're going in the wrong direction. There's so many fights and divisions among you over things that don't even matter. You're not on the path, you're not fully submitted. And I just wanna repeat because this really spoke to my heart Because I've wondered this my whole life, just watching people in the church, when Pastor Todd Wagner last week said, what's the difference between being committed and being submitted?

And he said, yes, we can commit to a church, we can love the idea of God, a God who's gonna make me successful in some way. That's commitment. But true submission is someone who sees success totally different. True submission is I see success as am I partnering with God on my path of life? Am I hearing the right way to go?

And am I listening when I hear that little nudge in my heart saying, mm-mm, Deborah, don't go over there. That is not my best for you. That is God's definition of success. Am I learning to trust him? And am I learning to fall more in love with him?

Am I developing my relationship with him? Because you know what happens when we do that? We start to see a fruit that you and I cannot produce. Only submission to the Holy Spirit can produce this fruit, and James talks about it in chapter one. We start to see this fruit of joy even when the you know what is the fan.

We start to sense this sense of well-being that you know what, I'm okay. Because as Shar is saying, his eye's on me, he's got me. I'm okay. I don't need to freak out and stress out. And I start to like look at others through his eyes.

Like, yeah, you're bugging me, but you know what? Jesus loves you, so God help me love them too. Help me be kind and gentle. Help me be generous with grace. I wanna ask you something, how many Christians do you know like that?

I mean, many really walk that narrow path? You know, after COVID, thirty percent of people in the church quit going. And one of the reasons, one of the reasons that kept coming up in survey after survey is why. They don't really act any different than my non believing friends. Why keep going to church?

It's really not that different because people don't see us walking this narrow path, this true submission to Christ. And you know what? This was a problem in the church age too when the church first began because Matthew says, it's hard. Narrow is the gate and difficult is the way that leads to life, to real, meaningful, abundant life. He's like, it's hard and only a few will find it.

But I know we're gonna find it because we're coming together, we're opening this and we're going to respond to it. We're gonna find that life that Jesus promises us. In Mark, Jesus turned to the crowd and he said, do you wanna be my follower? Then you have to give up your own way. It can't be what you want or what you think, it has to be my way.

Pick up your cross and follow right behind me. Wow. So let's dive into James four because talk about a narrow path and showing the way. James four chapter one. James is you know what I love about James?

He just sugarcoats everything, doesn't he? He says, what is causing those quarrels and fights among you? Don't they come from the evil desires at war within you? You want what you don't have so you scheme and you kill to get it. You are jealous of what others have but you can't get it, so you fight and you wage war to take it from them.

Okay, so if you're like me, just being honest, when you read something like that, other people usually come to mind, don't they? And I felt the Holy Spirit say to me, let's just pause right here and take inventory, Deborah. Are you the cause of any quarrels or dissension or fights anywhere within your family, within your friend group or maybe in the past. So the first thing when we read something like this is we pause and we take inventory and if the Lord brings someone to you, what should you do? You know what to do.

You seek reconciliation. You say, I'm sorry, Lord, now do I have to go say sorry to that person? And his answer is always what? Yes, it's yes, and that is hard to do. That's why that path is narrow and few people find it.

But let's say you do that and you're like, okay, I think the slate's all clean right now, I've pretty much dealt with everything. What should I do next? Well, James cannot use more serious words in this passage and he's drawing from what Jesus said in the Sermon on the Mount. When Jesus turned to the Pharisees and he he said, you think you're so good because you don't murder, but you murder all the time because it's the condition of your heart, because it always goes back to the heart with the Lord. And James is saying, so you scheme and you kill.

I don't think he's meaning we get our 22 out and we take care of someone. I think he's meaning that we do whatever it takes to kill that person's reputation, or we do whatever it takes to kill the good that you might see in someone who hurt me and I don't want you to see the good in them, so I'm gonna lay down a little piece of gossip or slander. James is like, do not do that. He's saying, what is the root of almost all of our fights and arguments? What is the root of that?

He said, it's pretty much one of two things. It's either jealousy or it's because someone has hurt you. And we'll come back to that in a second. So let's say that someone in your life, and I think the Lord just prepared me for this today because this has been my journey the last few years, that someone in your life is just constantly causing conflict and trouble and problems. And man, they're just exhausting.

I call them drama kings and queens. I was just having this discussion with one of my friends and I said, don't know if it's being older or being in the word, but my bandwidth for that is just not there anymore. And I think James is telling us, first of all, sometimes we don't have a choice. You might be married to a drama king. Well, that's your husband.

So what do we do? We pray for the Lord to give us his eyes, his patience, his words, and we guard our heart, okay? Because this is the truth. People will hurt you and say things, don't play that narrative. So we have to be careful what we do with that.

But here's what the Lord has shown me. If there are people I do have a choice about, this was the old Deborah. I'm kind of a people pleaser, so I would meet with them over and over and try to make it right. And you know what? Some people are just gonna cause quarrels and conflicts and problems.

And the Holy Spirit said to me, why are you spending all of our energy on someone who isn't interested in growing past that. And you know what he said to me? They are not your people. They are not your people, let them go. And that felt so weird to me as a Christian.

And I was like, you sure, Holy Spirit, am I is this what I wanna hear or is this really what you're saying? But you know, what he showed me, if they ever repent, which means you do a U-turn and you come back to what God says, then yes, you welcome them with open arms and you love them. So you keep your heart in that position to welcome them. But if they're always gonna cause dissension and problem, let them go. They're not your people.

And it's okay to say that in church, okay? Because James is calling that out as killers and murderers. And he says, and this is important, because when you go to pray to God, he says you don't, and remember, this is a chapter on submission, right? He says you don't have what you want because you don't ask God for it. So first of all, how many times do we say we're gonna pray and then we just really don't pray, we just talk about it?

James is like, remember to actually pray. And then when you ask, you don't get because your motives are all wrong. You want only what will give you pleasure. I love how the message says it. The message translation says that when you pray, you act as a spoiled child who's asking to always get their way.

And can I ask you something? How many spoiled kids do you know who are really happy? They're not happy because it's never enough and they're totally focused on themselves. And you know what James is saying? If your life is always gonna be just exactly what you want, focused on what you want, not even your needs, but what you want, that is a path of a very unsatisfied life.

That is not a path of what Matthew and Mark were talking about, about this abundant, rich, fulfilling life. Why? Because Jesus created us to be lovers and givers. So you wanna move out of that path? Start giving, start serving.

James goes on to say in verses four through six, and I'm gonna read the message because I just love how he says it. He says, if you don't get a little bit out of yourself, then you're, it's like you're committing spiritual adultery with God. The message says you're cheating on God. If all you want is your own way, flirting with the world every chance you get, you end up enemies, enemies. There he goes sugarcoating things again.

Enemies of God in his way. And do you suppose God doesn't care about that? That's why the proverb says he is a fiercely jealous lover. He is a lover of your soul and he wants you. And what he gives in love is far better than anything you're gonna get out there anyways.

What are you searching for that you want so much And what does he mean? Did you wonder what he meant exactly when he said friendship with the world? I mean, we live in the world, we have to interact with the world. What is James really saying there? You know what he's saying?

He's saying if you put a priority on the things the world puts a priority on, and what does the world put a priority on? Status, image, money, I mean, popularity, all those things are very important to the world. And those things in and of themselves are not sinful, but they become sinful when we think they're gonna satisfy us more than God. And you know what James is saying? We do it all the time.

We do it all the time. We commit spiritual adultery. And I will tell you, when I was studying this, I just kind of paused because I thought, wow, those are interesting words he uses, adultery, because teaching for almost thirty years, I can tell you one of the most painful journeys I've gone through with so many women is when they have an unfaithful husband. You know why? Because they've been faithful, but their husband has been unfaithful to them.

And that kind of pain hurts like, man, it hurts. And walking that path and getting on the other side of forgiveness with them, I don't know how you do it without Jesus, honestly. But with him, you can do it. But that pain, James is saying that's the pain that we give Jesus. When we think something else is gonna satisfy us and make us happy.

When he's like, I know you better than you know you. You don't even know your own heart. I know your heart. I know what's gonna make you happy. And you know how faithful God is to us?

Lamentations three three, God says, every day, every day when you wake up, I have mercies waiting with your name on it every single day because of my great faithfulness toward you. First John one nine says, I don't care what you did, you come to me, you confess to me and I am faithful to forgive you. That's one John one nine. Hebrews ten twenty three says, let us hold firmly to the confession of our hope without wavering. Who else mentioned wavering?

James. He said, stop wavering. Put your feet on the solid rock and stand there. Take a stand for him. Stop wavering.

And Hebrews says, stop wavering because the promises God has for you in here are true because he is faithful. He is faithful to you. He is faithful. Second Thessalonians three three says, but the Lord is faithful. He will strengthen you and he will protect you from the evil one.

He is faithful to you. He has your name. John ten, when he said, I wanna call you by name, I'm faithful to you. Psalms tells us that our image is forever before him. Every day, your image pops up on his screen.

That's pretty cool. I love that. He is faithful to us. So when we're unfaithful to him, it's we're causing him the pain that adultery causes us. So Jesus says, I love this.

I love this because what kind of God do we worship? He is one of amazing grace. You know, he, this is his word, he chose what's in here and he chose to give us a story of a great king who committed adultery. And yet what did God say about him? He said, he is a man after my own heart.

And the woman who was caught committing adultery, remember they brought this woman to Jesus and they're like by law and by Jewish law, they could stone her. And Jesus bends down and he writes something in the sand. You know what I think he wrote? I think he wrote something for every person that was there accusing her, showing that person where they had committed spiritual adultery against him. Because you know what?

They stood up, those people that were accusing her, and they walked away. And Jesus turned to the woman and he said, where are they? And she said, they're not here. And he said, they're not condemning you and neither am I. But, and there's a big but here, but then what did he say?

He said, go and sin no more. Stop being unfaithful. That's the love that God shows over us. He's like, we're good again. You just come to me, stop being unfaithful.

And why do we do this? Because James says in verse six, God wants to give you a generous amount of grace, a lot of grace in your life. That's his pleasure to help us and to bless us. But James says you gotta deal with the pride because if you have pride in your heart, God is that blocks His grace in your life, that blocks His help in your life, that blocks His blessings over your life, and James says humble yourself and God will lift you up. What does that mean?

God will lift me up. I think it means God will lift me up out of my stress. He will lift me up out of all the things I'm worried about that wake me up at two and three in the morning because I'm coming to him. I'm like, Lord Jesus, I'm here with you and here's my daughter, God help her, protect her. And he lifts me up out of that fear and that worry because I've humbled myself.

I'm not trying to figure it out, I'm going to him to figure it out. He says, I will lift you up. And you know, humility has such a of a bad connotation in our culture, but humility is not thinking less of yourself and I know a lot of you know this, but it's thinking of yourself less. That's what true humility is. And what is pride?

Pride is just this preoccupation with what? Myself. What's right in the middle of that word pride? I, p r I. What's right in the middle of that word sin?

I. I mean, God designed it like that, I'm sure. But what what is pride? Pride is a preoccupation with ourself. But you know, there are two sides to the coin of pride.

We think of pride only as the person who's always promoting themselves and bragging and I'm telling you how great I am and then I want you to pat me on the back and say, yeah, you are pretty great. I mean, that's prideful, right? But the other side, there's self promotion but there's always self demotion. Do you know someone like this who's always saying they're not worthy, they beat themselves up and they're telling you how they're not great? Well, what are they really doing?

The same thing the other person's doing just from a different angle. They want you to tell them they're great. They want you to tell them they're worthy. And the point of this is they're so obsessed with themselves. It's just two different forms of pride.

One is an obsession with success and the other is an obsession with our failures. And God is saying, ah, stop obsessing about yourself. And humility turns our eyes upon Jesus. Remember my word this year, focus. Focus.

What are you focused on Deborah, yourself or me? And I love the acronym for joy, j o y. Do you know the acronym for joy? How do we have joy? Number one is Jesus, my eyes are in Jesus, number two, on others, and lastly, on yourself.

And that brings joy. So pride, how do you know if you're a person of humility? Well, one of the acid tests that we know and one of the reasons Jesus kept going back to the Pharisees is because the Pharisees really struggled with pride, didn't they? You know why? Because the Pharisees thought they knew it all.

They were just big know it alls. Prideful people do not have a teachable spirit. And we come here to be taught, we open the word and we come before the Lord and say, Lord, I don't know it all. Will you teach me today? Will you give me a word today?

The Pharisees were so prideful, they had God Almighty in flesh and bone. And you know what they said? Jesus can't teach us anything. We're not listening to you. We already know it all.

Wow. And James is saying, you've got to deal with this pride in your life and we all have it. You know, I live in the Teton National Forest, so we lose power all the time. Remember last week I told you I came in hot because I slid off the road, I had to get pulled out, then the guy wanted to tell me a story, and I'm like, oh, okay. Yes.

Go ahead. Tell me your story. I don't have anywhere to be. And then this truck almost hits me, and so I'm telling my husband this and he goes, well, you dodged one bullet because the second you drove out of the garage, we lost power. I was like, oh, thank you Lord for not letting me go through that.

So I'm sure my house is like your house. We have a computer, we have lamps, I have a refrigerator that's connected in with electricity to power. And when we lose power, those things don't work. I still have them, they're mine, but the power source has been blocked. So what is required to get the lights back on in my house?

Lower Valley needs to come and repair the kink in our line. Action is required. And James is saying, we got some kinks in our power line to the power source of the Holy Spirit within us. So what action is required to repair those kinks in our lines to let that power flow freely? And he tells us, he says, you have to humble yourselves before God.

Submit to God, resist the devil and he will flee to you. Draw close to God and God will draw close to you. That's the action that gets the power flowing again. And then he goes on to say, and this is gonna be a big kink in your line. That's gonna immediately stop the source of power in your life.

In verse 11, he says, Do not slander one another. Oh my gosh, especially in the church. James is like, you've got it like different. You don't, you're not on the path anymore. You're like way off.

Do not slander anyone who speaks against a brother or sister or judges them speaks against the law and judges it. Now, first of all, I wanna say, in context, James is not saying we don't call sin sin. That's our job as a Christian. In context, James is not saying we don't have a discerning judge judging spirit. We have to we make judgment calls all day long.

He's saying don't judge them by slandering them. Don't judge them with a critical spirit over them. And what is this law that we're breaking? We're breaking the royal law that started way back in the Old Testament that said in Leviticus 19, don't bear false witness, don't be a slanderer, love your brother and sister. And James is like, you're breaking the law because you're not only not loving them, you're hurting them.

So why is this word slander, why is he calling it out? Because he knows we're gonna have trouble with this and it's a very serious sin before the Lord. Because slander, slander has this element of lying with it and an element of malicious hurt that I'm trying to cause someone. I'm trying to bring them down. So when I was reading this, I was like, well Lord, you really want us to know this.

So why am I tempted to slander? I mean, I am tempted sometimes. Why are any of us tempted to slander? And I think one reason is because we are envious, and I'll come back to that in a second. And another reason is because in our humanness, in our flesh, when someone hurts me, I wanna hurt back.

That is how we're wired in our flesh. It's human, but it's not on the path of Christ. It's human, it's not divine. And James is saying, get back on the path. I know you wanna hurt because you have been hurt, but this is how serious this word is.

And I put this on your handout. Slander in the Greek means diabolos. And you know what diabolos means? It means a false accuser who unjustly criticizes with the intent to hurt someone. And where do we get our word devil?

Diabolos. Yeah. And James is saying, when you slander someone, you know what you're doing? You're being a witness for the devil. We're not gonna do that.

We're not gonna be a witness for the devil. So he goes on to say, well, let me go back to the envious thing. If you are constantly comparing yourself to someone, you know, the first thing you can do is please get off social media because that just encourages you to you know, you're having a bad day, you don't look good, you don't feel good, you open social media and there's your picture perfect friend with her picture perfect life. Okay, it's very hard not to fill a twinge of ew. So just don't do that.

Just, you know what, today is Valentine's Day but it's also the first day of Lent. So for forty days, I think we should all give up social media. I'm going to do it. No, I'm not going on for forty days. So also memorize Galatians six:four in the New Living Translation because this goes back to the word focus.

Pay careful attention to your own work and then you will have the satisfaction of a job well done and you don't even need to compare yourself to others. You stop doing that because it's you and the Lord, you're constantly talking to the Lord. Lord, help me to live this day to the full, this day that you've given me. Help me be true to you. What can I do for you today, Lord?

And I'm gonna be looking for opportunities to love on others like you would call me to do. But what do we do when someone hurts us? You know, when someone says something that's not true about you, I will tell you what works for me because I've had a lot of experience with this. If you stand up, you stand out and people are just gonna say things about you and they're gonna hurt you. And when I first started teaching, my pastor in California pulled me aside and he said, Deborah, I wanna tell you something I never want you to forget.

You need to get a tougher hide, but keep your tender heart. Just give that to the Lord. So number one on your handout, when someone hurts me, I go to God first. I don't pick up my phone and start texting my other friends, and I don't play this narrative over and over and over and over of what that person said, I go immediately to God. And the first thing I say is Lord, is there some truth to that?

Because even though that hurt, maybe there's some truth to it. So, you know, blind spots are called blind spots because we don't see them. So do I have a blind spot here? Is there something you wanna tell me? And if there's not, if nothing comes to mind, then I start praying for wisdom.

I start praying for wisdom and how to handle this. And the second thing I do, depending on the situation, depending on the hurt, is you go directly to the person who hurt you. That's what I call Matthew 18 ing someone. The Lord tells us what to do. He says you Matthew 18 them.

If your brother or sister sins against you, go and point out their fault just between the two of you and if she listens to you, then you have a real friend there, you have a real friend and this is where I'm at, this is what I do. I go to the person after I'm all prayed up, not when I'm still coming in hot and I'm still hurting, I wait until things calm down and I go in with the right posture of what? Reconciliation. That's always the goal. Not to prove that you were wrong by saying that, not to prove anything except that we are sisters in Christ and the Lord doesn't like it when his girls fight.

So what can I do to make this right? I go in with a spirit of reconciliation. And one of the things I've learned, so not to make people defensive because this is sensitive and it's hard. And let me tell you, I'm sweating the whole time. It's never like easy for me to do.

But I'll start off by saying, okay, I need to talk to you about something. Can you help me understand what that was about? Because it really hurt. And sometimes, you know what? They have a good reason or a reason that I can deal with and they'll say I'm sorry.

You know, was mad at my husband and I just said something that hurt you. I'm sorry. I'm like, great. Okay, water under the bridge. Let's move on.

But sometimes they turn it back on you and these are unhealthy people. So then what do you do? And I can tell you almost nobody does this but this is the narrow path and this is what God tells us to do. He says next, if they will not listen, you take one or two with you. Now here is the important thing.

You take one or two people who wanna be part of the solution, not to stir it up more. You take a solid follower of Christ, maybe a leader in your church, and I I've gone to pastors before when I've been in churches and said, will you, I'm laying this out, I've done everything I should do, I need you to go with me. And I've had pastors tell me no, I'm not getting involved in any conflict. And then I read this to them and they still say no. Okay, so if you don't have someone who's solid to go with you, and by the way, you do this because it says so that every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three.

In other words, you're keeping things honest. You're putting it on the table, there are witnesses, so you don't later get into well, he said, she said, he said, she said, no, we were there, this is what happened and you wanna keep it honest, that's why you take one or two with you. And then it says, and if they still refuse to listen, well, you tell it to the church and if they refuse to listen to the church, you treat them as a pagan. And whether or not the church will get involved with you, whether or not the church will call this person out because bad behavior continues in the church because it's allowed. We should not allow it.

That is what God's word says. And if we would just stop and maybe have a little dent to our ego, remember that verse in Peter that says, you will not hurt your ego at the sake of your soul, at the sake of obeying me because this is what God says. He views unity this important for us to be uncomfortable at times and it is very uncomfortable. But God says the goal is reconciliation and the goal is always to get truth out in a loving, caring way, not in I'm coming in guns blazing way, but in a is there any way you and I can come back to a place of agreement way. And And you know what?

So what I do, because if the church won't help me, I do what Jesus says. You treat them as though you would a pagan, which just means I let them go. I am not going to allow their narrative in my head and I'm going to love them because that's our job. We love, I'm not gossiping, I'm not slandering, but they're not my people and I'm not gonna spend time with them. And it is okay for us to have boundaries.

And I think that we need to be really careful in this area of checking our boundaries. And then you know what, you lay down a boundary and you put up a no trespassing sign. Okay? It's okay for us to have boundaries because you only have so much energy, you only have so much bandwidth in your day and God doesn't want us wasting it. That's why that's that saying throwing pearls to pigs is not doing any good.

So go to someone that wants to know the Lord and spend time with them. James ends this in verse 14. You know, he's talking about going here and going there. He's basically just saying, invite the Lord into your decisions. Like ask the Lord what I should be doing.

And in verse 14, he says, know what this is all about? This is about your life and we only get one. And he's like, do you know how short your life is? It's like that fog we see in the valley. We see it and by the time I get into town, it's gone.

It's just gone. He's like, that's what your life is like. It's like the morning fog, it's here but for a moment and then it's gone. So James is like, get on the path that's gonna give you life, real life, abundant life. And when you get off the path and you have that twinge of jealousy or you wanna slander someone or you find yourself being prideful and it's all about you, repent and get back on the path because you'll be blessed forever for that.

Father, we just thank you for your word. Lord, I know this was kind of a tough chapter in some ways but it's also such a life giving chapter because it just your word is like a bumper car. It just keeps bumping us back on the right path because we are drifters by nature and we can just drift and before we know it, we are in another time zone and you're like, come back, come back to the path with me and this is what it looks like. And I just pray, Father, that you would bless these women, that we would be the few that find you, we would be the few that follow that path and it's hard, it's hard because we have to die to ourself, but it's so much better with you. So my prayer for us this week, Lord, is that we will hear you calling us by name, that we will hear you directing us, that we will experience you in a beautiful new way that we will recognize your mercies that are new for us every day and that we will get those kinks out of our line to receive your grace over us.

We love you,

Speaker 3're

Speaker 2alone. We're We're Oh, come make us humble. We turn our eyes from evil things. Oh, Lord, we cast down our idols. We bow our hearts.

We bow our hearts. We bend our knees. One more time. Let's meet it as we say it. We bow our hearts.

We bend our knees. Yes, Lord. We seek you, father. We just put our our hearts before you. We do ask that you would reveal these things to us, Lord, because we wanna be clean.

We wanna feel clean. We wanna feel like the truth, which is that you have washed us. So we ask that you reveal these things and draw us close, give us courage to do the hard things that we might need to let go of, confront, and humble ourselves to do, father, but we just wanna know you. We wanna walk with you. We wanna see the fruit in our life, and this is the way.

You show us the way like Jesus on the cross. You laid down. You bore sin. And so we just thank you for showing us the wisdom in this path. Thank you, father, for these beautiful women and your daughters, and we just ask that you draw us close to you and draw us close to one another today.

In Jesus' name. Amen. Alright, ladies. Friend time. Okay.

And let's try to be quick because we do have two groups in here that start pretty quickly. So they've requested a rapid shift.

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