First Be Reconciled to Your Brother

September 22, 2024 · The 12 Steps

Series · The 12 Steps · Week 4 of 5

Scripture referenced 8 passages

The passage this message was preached from, in full, with every other passage it reached for.

Psalm 107 opening encouragement about God's steadfast love satisfying the longing soul, and the redeemed saying so

1 Give thanks to Yahweh, for he is good, for his loving kindness endures forever.
2 Let the redeemed by Yahweh say so, whom he has redeemed from the hand of the adversary,
3 And gathered out of the lands, from the east and from the west, from the north and from the south.
4 They wandered in the wilderness in a desert way. They found no city to live in.
5 Hungry and thirsty, their soul fainted in them.
6 Then they cried to Yahweh in their trouble, and he delivered them out of their distresses,
7 he led them also by a straight way, that they might go to a city to live in.
8 Let them praise Yahweh for his loving kindness, for his wonderful deeds to the children of men!
9 For he satisfies the longing soul. He fills the hungry soul with good.
10 Some sat in darkness and in the shadow of death, being bound in affliction and iron,
11 because they rebelled against the words of God, and condemned the counsel of the Most High.
12 Therefore he brought down their heart with labor. They fell down, and there was no one to help.
13 Then they cried to Yahweh in their trouble, and he saved them out of their distresses.
14 He brought them out of darkness and the shadow of death, and broke away their chains.
15 Let them praise Yahweh for his loving kindness, for his wonderful deeds to the children of men!
16 For he has broken the gates of brass, and cut through bars of iron.
17 Fools are afflicted because of their disobedience, and because of their iniquities.
18 Their soul abhors all kinds of food. They draw near to the gates of death.
19 Then they cry to Yahweh in their trouble, he saves them out of their distresses.
20 He sends his word, and heals them, and delivers them from their graves.
21 Let them praise Yahweh for his loving kindness, for his wonderful deeds to the children of men!
22 Let them offer the sacrifices of thanksgiving, and declare his deeds with singing.
23 Those who go down to the sea in ships, who do business in great waters;
24 These see Yahweh’s deeds, and his wonders in the deep.
25 For he commands, and raises the stormy wind, which lifts up its waves.
26 They mount up to the sky; they go down again to the depths. Their soul melts away because of trouble.
27 They reel back and forth, and stagger like a drunken man, and are at their wits’ end.
28 Then they cry to Yahweh in their trouble, and he brings them out of their distress.
29 He makes the storm a calm, so that its waves are still.
30 Then they are glad because it is calm, so he brings them to their desired haven.
31 Let them praise Yahweh for his loving kindness, for his wonderful deeds for the children of men!
32 Let them exalt him also in the assembly of the people, and praise him in the seat of the elders.
33 He turns rivers into a desert, water springs into a thirsty ground,
34 and a fruitful land into a salt waste, for the wickedness of those who dwell in it.
35 He turns a desert into a pool of water, and a dry land into water springs.
36 There he makes the hungry live, that they may prepare a city to live in,
37 sow fields, plant vineyards, and reap the fruits of increase.
38 He blesses them also, so that they are multiplied greatly. He doesn’t allow their livestock to decrease.
39 Again, they are diminished and bowed down through oppression, trouble, and sorrow.
40 He pours contempt on princes, and causes them to wander in a trackless waste.
41 Yet he lifts the needy out of their affliction, and increases their families like a flock.
42 The upright will see it, and be glad. All the wicked will shut their mouths.
43 Whoever is wise will pay attention to these things. They will consider the loving kindnesses of Yahweh.

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1 John 4:9-10

God showed His love by sending His Son so we might have eternal life; it is not that we loved God but that He loved us first and sent His Son as a sacrifice

9 By this God’s love was revealed in us, that God has sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him.

10 In this is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us, and sent his Son as the atoning sacrifice for our sins.

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1 John 1:9

if we confess our sins He is faithful and just to forgive us and purify us from all unrighteousness

9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us the sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

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James 5:16

therefore be confessing your sins to each other and praying for each other so that you may be healed; the prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective

16 Confess your offenses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The insistent prayer of a righteous person is powerfully effective.

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John 5

the man at the Pool of Bethesda who had been there thirty-eight years and Jesus asked him do you want to get well

1 After these things, there was a feast of the Jews, and Jesus went up to Jerusalem.

2 Now in Jerusalem by the sheep gate, there is a pool, which is called in Hebrew, “Bethesda”, having five porches.

3 In these lay a great multitude of those who were sick, blind, lame, or paralyzed, waiting for the moving of the water;

4 for an angel went down at certain times into the pool, and stirred up the water. Whoever stepped in first after the stirring of the water was healed of whatever disease he had.

5 A certain man was there, who had been sick for thirty-eight years.

6 When Jesus saw him lying there, and knew that he had been sick for a long time, he asked him, “Do you want to be made well?”

7 The sick man answered him, “Sir, I have no one to put me into the pool when the water is stirred up, but while I’m coming, another steps down before me.”

8 Jesus said to him, “Arise, take up your mat, and walk.”

9 Immediately, the man was made well, and took up his mat and walked. Now it was the Sabbath on that day.

10 So the Jews said to him who was cured, “It is the Sabbath. It is not lawful for you to carry the mat.”

11 He answered them, “He who made me well, the same said to me, ‘Take up your mat, and walk.’”

12 Then they asked him, “Who is the man who said to you, ‘Take up your mat, and walk’?”

13 But he who was healed didn’t know who it was, for Jesus had withdrawn, a crowd being in the place.

14 Afterward Jesus found him in the temple, and said to him, “Behold, you are made well. Sin no more, so that nothing worse happens to you.”

15 The man went away, and told the Jews that it was Jesus who had made him well.

16 For this cause the Jews persecuted Jesus, and sought to kill him, because he did these things on the Sabbath.

17 But Jesus answered them, “My Father is still working, so I am working, too.”

18 For this cause therefore the Jews sought all the more to kill him, because he not only broke the Sabbath, but also called God his own Father, making himself equal with God.

19 Jesus therefore answered them, “Most certainly, I tell you, the Son can do nothing of himself, but what he sees the Father doing. For whatever things he does, these the Son also does likewise.

20 For the Father has affection for the Son, and shows him all things that he himself does. He will show him greater works than these, that you may marvel.

21 For as the Father raises the dead and gives them life, even so the Son also gives life to whom he desires.

22 For the Father judges no one, but he has given all judgment to the Son,

23 that all may honor the Son, even as they honor the Father. He who doesn’t honor the Son doesn’t honor the Father who sent him.

24 “Most certainly I tell you, he who hears my word, and believes him who sent me, has eternal life, and doesn’t come into judgment, but has passed out of death into life.

25 Most certainly, I tell you, the hour comes, and now is, when the dead will hear the Son of God’s voice; and those who hear will live.

26 For as the Father has life in himself, even so he gave to the Son also to have life in himself.

27 He also gave him authority to execute judgment, because he is a son of man.

28 Don’t marvel at this, for the hour comes, in which all that are in the tombs will hear his voice,

29 and will come out; those who have done good, to the resurrection of life; and those who have done evil, to the resurrection of judgment.

30 I can of myself do nothing. As I hear, I judge, and my judgment is righteous; because I don’t seek my own will, but the will of my Father who sent me.

31 “If I testify about myself, my witness is not valid.

32 It is another who testifies about me. I know that the testimony which he testifies about me is true.

33 You have sent to John, and he has testified to the truth.

34 But the testimony which I receive is not from man. However, I say these things that you may be saved.

35 He was the burning and shining lamp, and you were willing to rejoice for a while in his light.

36 But the testimony which I have is greater than that of John, for the works which the Father gave me to accomplish, the very works that I do, testify about me, that the Father has sent me.

37 The Father himself, who sent me, has testified about me. You have neither heard his voice at any time, nor seen his form.

38 You don’t have his word living in you; because you don’t believe him whom he sent.

39 “You search the Scriptures, because you think that in them you have eternal life; and these are they which testify about me.

40 Yet you will not come to me, that you may have life.

41 I don’t receive glory from men.

42 But I know you, that you don’t have God’s love in yourselves.

43 I have come in my Father’s name, and you don’t receive me. If another comes in his own name, you will receive him.

44 How can you believe, who receive glory from one another, and you don’t seek the glory that comes from the only God?

45 “Don’t think that I will accuse you to the Father. There is one who accuses you, even Moses, on whom you have set your hope.

46 For if you believed Moses, you would believe me; for he wrote about me.

47 But if you don’t believe his writings, how will you believe my words?”

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John 3

Nicodemus passage used for step seven on humble submission and rebirth

1 Now there was a man of the Pharisees named Nicodemus, a ruler of the Jews.

2 The same came to him by night, and said to him, “Rabbi, we know that you are a teacher come from God, for no one can do these signs that you do, unless God is with him.”

3 Jesus answered him, “Most certainly, I tell you, unless one is born anew, he can’t see God’s Kingdom.”

4 Nicodemus said to him, “How can a man be born when he is old? Can he enter a second time into his mother’s womb, and be born?”

5 Jesus answered, “Most certainly I tell you, unless one is born of water and spirit, he can’t enter into God’s Kingdom.

6 That which is born of the flesh is flesh. That which is born of the Spirit is spirit.

7 Don’t marvel that I said to you, ‘You must be born anew.’

8 The wind blows where it wants to, and you hear its sound, but don’t know where it comes from and where it is going. So is everyone who is born of the Spirit.”

9 Nicodemus answered him, “How can these things be?”

10 Jesus answered him, “Are you the teacher of Israel, and don’t understand these things?

11 Most certainly I tell you, we speak that which we know, and testify of that which we have seen, and you don’t receive our witness.

12 If I told you earthly things and you don’t believe, how will you believe if I tell you heavenly things?

13 No one has ascended into heaven, but he who descended out of heaven, the Son of Man, who is in heaven.

14 As Moses lifted up the serpent in the wilderness, even so must the Son of Man be lifted up,

15 that whoever believes in him should not perish, but have eternal life.

16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish, but have eternal life.

17 For God didn’t send his Son into the world to judge the world, but that the world should be saved through him.

18 He who believes in him is not judged. He who doesn’t believe has been judged already, because he has not believed in the name of the one and only Son of God.

19 This is the judgment, that the light has come into the world, and men loved the darkness rather than the light; for their works were evil.

20 For everyone who does evil hates the light, and doesn’t come to the light, lest his works would be exposed.

21 But he who does the truth comes to the light, that his works may be revealed, that they have been done in God.”

22 After these things, Jesus came with his disciples into the land of Judea. He stayed there with them, and baptized.

23 John also was baptizing in Enon near Salim, because there was much water there. They came, and were baptized.

24 For John was not yet thrown into prison.

25 There arose therefore a questioning on the part of John’s disciples with some Jews about purification.

26 They came to John, and said to him, “Rabbi, he who was with you beyond the Jordan, to whom you have testified, behold, the same baptizes, and everyone is coming to him.”

27 John answered, “A man can receive nothing, unless it has been given him from heaven.

28 You yourselves testify that I said, ‘I am not the Christ,’ but, ‘I have been sent before him.’

29 He who has the bride is the bridegroom; but the friend of the bridegroom, who stands and hears him, rejoices greatly because of the bridegroom’s voice. This, my joy, therefore is made full.

30 He must increase, but I must decrease.

31 He who comes from above is above all. He who is from the earth belongs to the earth, and speaks of the earth. He who comes from heaven is above all.

32 What he has seen and heard, of that he testifies; and no one receives his witness.

33 He who has received his witness has set his seal to this, that God is true.

34 For he whom God has sent speaks the words of God; for God gives the Spirit without measure.

35 The Father loves the Son, and has given all things into his hand.

36 One who believes in the Son has eternal life, but one who disobeys the Son won’t see life, but the wrath of God remains on him.”

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Matthew 5:21-26

Sermon on the Mount teaching that anger and contempt make one answerable to judgment, and that one must be reconciled to a brother before presenting an offering at the altar

21 “You have heard that it was said to the ancient ones, ‘You shall not murder;’ and ‘Whoever murders will be in danger of the judgment.’

22 But I tell you, that everyone who is angry with his brother without a cause will be in danger of the judgment; and whoever says to his brother, ‘Raca!’ will be in danger of the council; and whoever says, ‘You fool!’ will be in danger of the fire of Gehenna.

23 “If therefore you are offering your gift at the altar, and there remember that your brother has anything against you,

24 leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.

25 Agree with your adversary quickly, while you are with him on the way; lest perhaps the prosecutor deliver you to the judge, and the judge deliver you to the officer, and you be cast into prison.

26 Most certainly I tell you, you shall by no means get out of there, until you have paid the last penny.

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1 John 1:3

benediction about declaring what was seen and heard so others may have fellowship with the Father and His Son Jesus Christ

3 that which we have seen and heard we declare to you, that you also may have fellowship with us. Yes, and our fellowship is with the Father, and with his Son, Jesus Christ.

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Recap

The message in order, in a few minutes of reading.

This Sunday's message walked through steps eight and nine of the 12 steps, showing how biblical they are and how seriously Jesus takes broken relationships. Pastor Ray was joined by guest Ken Sandy, who added personal stories about what genuine reconciliation actually costs and what it produces. The service also included a launch of the small group Jamboreeapalooza, with an invitation to find or form a small group community.

What was said

Pastor Ray opened by running back through steps one through seven so the congregation would have the full picture before landing on steps eight and nine. He covered the progression from admitting powerlessness, to believing a greater power can restore, to surrendering will and life to God, to taking a searching moral inventory, to confessing that inventory to God, to ourselves, and to another person, to being entirely ready for God to remove the defects found there, to humbly asking Him to do so. The repeated point was that none of these steps work if you stop moving. You have to keep going.

Step eight is making a list of everyone you have harmed and becoming willing to make amends to all of them. A friend who has helped many people get sober offered a shortcut for the list: everybody you have ever loved and everybody who has ever loved you. That reframe landed hard, because the natural instinct is to think of enemies first. The closer the relationship, Pastor Ray said, the more potential there is to cause damage. And sin is never a victimless crime, even the kinds church people are more likely to carry.

Step nine is making direct amends wherever possible, except where doing so would cause further harm. Pastor Ray was honest that this caveat is not a loophole but a genuine pastoral question that has to be spirit-led. Some damage cannot be undone, and the question of how to make it right requires prayer and discernment, not a formula.

He then turned to Matthew 5:21-26, where Jesus raises the stakes well above the law's prohibition on murder. Jesus says that anger and contempt toward a brother already put a person before the court. Then comes the direct instruction: if you are bringing your offering to the altar and you remember your brother has something against you, leave the offering, go first and be reconciled, then come back. Pastor Ray's point was that Jesus does not let religious activity stand in for relational repair. You finish the reconciliation and then you finish the worship.

Ken Sandy then came up and told two stories. In the first, a rancher in a small Montana church drove straight from the service to his neighbor's house after twenty years of silence over a fence dispute. The neighbor wept. In the second, Ken described writing a technically accurate but spiritually prideful letter defending himself in a conflict, being fully exonerated by a board, and then discovering five years later, when he read the letter again, that every word of it had been drenched in self-righteousness and a failure to love. He called the other man and asked forgiveness at a much deeper level than he had before. That man died three months later. Ken's closing word was that the Holy Spirit has often already been preparing the other person's heart, and that waiting costs more than people realize.

Doing a Bible study?

Here is a guide we have prepared for you: the passages in order, questions for the group, and room to write.

Pastor Ray described step six as being 'entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character,' and noted that some people want to hold onto a defect because it feels like a big part of who they are. What makes it so hard to let go of something we know is hurting us, and what has helped you move past that resistance?
The friend who helps people work the 12 steps suggested that the people we have harmed are basically 'everybody you have ever loved and everybody who has ever loved you.' Does that ring true to you, and what does it reveal about the nature of sin that we most often hurt the people closest to us?

and 3 more questions in the guide

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Read the full transcript 7,321 words

Find in this transcript

Good morning, Very glad to see you this morning. Hey. Would you would you stand with me? I'd love to worship in song together. And here's an encouraging word from Psalm one zero seven to lead us into worship.

It's thank the Lord for his steadfast love, his continuous steadfast love. He satisfies the longing soul. I like that one. He satisfies our longing souls. Would you join us in singing?

There's a song in my soul. You a symphony singing I hold.

Amen. Y'all can have a seat. I've got a few announcements here this morning, and let's see what they are. Awana. Awana.

Tell us about Awana, Carl.

We're on tomorrow night, and we we had a strong start last week with over 70 registered kids on the first night. So would you keep Lana in your prayers? Would you please? It

is. It's good.

Good. It's it's growing.

70 kids and a lot of volunteers. So A lot of volunteers.

At least 30 volunteers. So Yep. Tomorrow at 05:45.

05:45 tomorrow night. It's a great kids club. Starts right here. You see the circle down on the floor, the game circle. They start out in this room and then spread out all over the church.

Children's church is available this morning 09:30 to ten, lower elementary, k through second grade. There's upper elementary, third through fifth grade. Middle school and high school, sixth through twelfth. If you wanna go downstairs, there's a class for you down there. And there is in the nursery, a preschool class too that has just started.

That's good. Men's lunch time study on Thursdays at 11:55 in the Fellowship Hall. If you want lunch, bring it. Come and go as you need. But this, we're studying second Peter together right now, and it is so so so good.

So I can't say enough good things about this. I love this group. It's really really good. So 11:55 in the fellowship hall, Thursday is men's lunchtime study. There is a preset Bible study going on.

They're studying through the book of Mark on Thursdays at 9AM in the fellowship halls. Thursday is pretty busy around here. Every day is pretty busy around here, honestly. Thursdays at 9AM in the fellowship hall, you can contact Heidi Groesch if you wanna know anything more about that. Sunday school group for adults, so 11:00 folks that wanna come to church at 11:00, there is a a meeting of a small group, Sunday school group that meets in the fellowship hall during this 9AM service.

If you didn't know that, that is what's happening down there. On Wednesdays, there's a women's Bible study that is going on. It starts out in this room and then spreads out all over the church too. 10AM to noon on Wednesdays up through October 30. It's here, but it's the JH women's Bible study.

So it's sort of a community deal with a lot of people from a lot of churches gathered together. It's wonderful. Youth group, middle school and high school meets two to 4PM on Sundays right here at First B. Mike will have something for you. I guarantee it.

It's a fun time. And then, what we've all been waiting for, Small group Jamboreeapalooza. It's happening today in between services down the hall. And I said last week, it would be really great if everybody in this room would just stand up, greet each other warmly, and then wander down the hall and go to the small group, Vampiria Palooza. Okay?

Really, we are hoping to equip and encourage people to get together in small groups, not just this big group, but in smaller groups of people. So if you host one, if you lead one, if you attend one, if you just want to know more about it or honestly, even if you don't, would you still go down there? Please. And you can kind of mill in. Whenever we have a big event here, weddings, funerals, that sort of stuff, we often have food down the hall and there will be food down there.

And sometimes there's just sort of a long kind of a trail of people heading down that hall and don't worry about that. Take your time, we'll be there. There's an hour in between, just wander your way down there. And then when we start the second service, I'll get out of there, but y'all don't have to. You can hang around.

It's fine. So small group Jamboreeapalooza, we're trying to encourage the body of Christ to be the body of Christ in a tighter group. Connect hour is still happening in between services every week. And Monday night, there we're making meals for the Awana volunteers. So we could always use volunteers to sign up for that.

And I think that we're fine on that today, so I'm gonna scoot up. Anybody else have anything that I've forgotten that you'd like to correct? No. Would you stand up then and we'll just join together in song, singing praises to God in Christ alone.

I wanna share a word of encouragement here from first John four, and it says this, God showed how much he loved us by sending his one and only son into the world that we might have eternal life through him. Just wanna let this soak in. I'm gonna slow down just a little bit. This is real love. It's not that we love God, but that he loved us first.

That he loved us and he sent his son as a sacrifice to take away our sins. Lord, we don't wanna race through these songs. We wanna soak in them and the meaning of them that it shares the gospel, your perfect life, your sacrificial death, your resurrection, your ascension, your power made perfect in our weakness. God, thank you. Thank you for your spirit.

God, would you rest on each each one today. God, would you stir us to love and good works. God, would we not just hear of your love, but feel it. To understand it, that it soaks in, that it sets in deep, Lord, that we feel it in our the seed of our emotions, our heart, our soul, in our gut, we would know that we are loved by you, God, as we draw near to you, you draw near to us. In Jesus' name.

Amen. I thank you that we can know you. Just this came to mind as we're singing this song that we can know you not just in a in a at a head level, but at a heart level. God, that you speak to our heart, our inmost being. He's saying Psalm one zero seven, give thanks to the Lord.

He is good. Your steadfast love, it endures forever. And it goes on to say, let the redeemed of the Lord say so. Mhmm. God, if we have been redeemed, may we say so in word, in deed, in this case, in song.

In Jesus name, amen. Promise there. You are my deliverer. You

are my

Boy, that sounded like a trash can rolling downhill at the end, didn't it? You can have a seat for a moment. This is a worship worship through giving part of the service. Yes. I make mistakes sometimes, many times.

But boy, I do love Jesus. We're gonna sing another song. Before we do, Ray, would you pray? Yeah.

Sure. So

step 10 is next week. When I find out I was wrong, I promptly admit it. Lord God, thank you for good humor. Thank you for the laughs we've already had this morning together. Thank you that the redeemed of the Lord can have confidence to say so, Lord, because it's based on who you are and who are the life that you're bringing us into.

You've removed us from the kingdom of darkness, and you are allowing us in and allowing us to thrive in the kingdom of marvelous light. In Jesus' name, I pray, Lord, that we wouldn't resist, that we wouldn't resist your movement, we wouldn't quench your spirit, we wouldn't keep you from doing in us what it is that you wanna do for our good and for your glory. Lord God almighty, may we carry the message forward, the message of freedom in Christ. In Jesus' name. In Jesus' name, may we carry this message forward.

We wanna be doing your will, Lord, in your way. Would you would you do that? Would you direct us and give us the power? That same power that raised Jesus from the dead is the power that is at work in us. Lord, may we not inhibit it.

In Jesus name, I pray that you'd use us to do your will in this community and to the very uttermost parts. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Would you bless this offering?

Amen. I think the trash can rolling downhill was my fault honestly, Carl. It's time for children's church downstairs. Every once in a while, there's a lyric that I think, oh, I've got the bass and I can do this. I can do this.

It's gonna say something about the lion roaring and I've got a bow and I go roar like that, and it's in the wrong key. It happens almost every time. I just try to lay back and say, nope, that's not what it's about, Ray. This morning, we're gonna kinda have a trio of speakers. Okay?

So last couple of Sundays, you know, we had Dave who spoke and spoke and spoke. Hey, for a pretty good while. And it was so good. And then last week, you heard from Steve and Brit. And this week, I've got a friend in town that he just happens to be in town.

And so, I'm gonna ask him to come up. And then Nick is gonna give some instructions for the small group Jamboreepalooza at the end. Alright? So that's where we're going. But last week, we went through step eight of the 12 steps and this hey, I see people out here I haven't seen in a while.

That's cool. Step nine, today. So step eight, it's one of those where I don't want you to linger long in step eight. You got to get to step nine and then get to step 10 and keep moving. Keep moving.

I'm going to start over again. Repetition is the key to learning. How many of you all did not know anything about the 12 steps? You knew they existed but didn't know what they were before we started this. How many of you feel like you could preach this sermon right now up to at least step seven?

Right? So we're gonna go through it. It's really really important and they are ultra biblical. All of the steps are very very biblical. We're going to start at step one.

Good place to start. We admitted that we were powerless over whatever our problem is. In Alcoholics Anonymous, they'd say, admitted we were powerless over alcohol. That there is this thing that we are just powerless over it and that our lives had become unmanageable. If you get to the point of recognizing that your life has become unmanageable for whatever your problem is, it's really, really, really good if you realize that that it's beyond you, that you move on from deflation at depth.

The early literature of Alcoholics Anonymous called this step, deflation at depth. It gets you and it's depressing and it's really difficult and it's hard. But step two is we came to believe that a power greater than ourselves and I know that that doesn't say God right there and I know that that power is God. I do know that. But if you just are figuring out that you've got a problem that you can't bootstrap yourself and get yourself out of this problem, all you need to know is that there is a power that's greater than yourself that could restore you to sanity.

And like I said, I know that that's God and I know that I also know that church hurt exist, that Christians have hurt people in the past. Some people are blaming God or blaming the church or blaming their Christian ancestry or whatever for their problems. And so, where they realize they can't do anything about it, just a power greater than ourselves is the next step. It's a willingness and a belief and a seeking after whatever it is that is bigger than me. Whatever it is that could restore me to wholeness and sanity.

A willingness, belief, and seeking. We came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. Step three is making the decision. I know I can't. I know there's this power that can.

I'm going to let this power that is in some ways unknown to me at this point, and I say that this decision to surrender decision to surrender is making a decision to turn our will in our lives over to the care of God. It says it. God. Okay? Making a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood him.

This is a statement of utter humility. It's recognizing that I've got a problem I can't figure out. And I realized there's a power greater than my stuff that I cannot really completely understand. If this power is greater than me, how am I gonna understand it? I'm a finite being.

This is an infinite power. We made a decision to turn our will in our lives. If you all I don't It's not just by rote. It's not just by memorization, it's not just something that in the prayer for the offering every week, it's that we do God's will in his way. And it's a it's a recognition that I don't always know what that is.

I'm not certain what it's gonna be this week. I don't know which of y'all is gonna walk in the door. I don't know which outsider is gonna walk in the door. Y'all don't know who's gonna come into your life. We don't know what it is that God has in store for us today or tomorrow.

And so, we're living our lives day by day, one day at a time. First things first, we made a decision to turn our will and our lives. God's will done in God's way. Would you show me what that is Lord today? Just right now, show me what you would have me do and give me the power to do it.

That's step 11.

Sorry.

We made a decision to turn our will in our lives over to care of God. As we understood him, it's a statement of humility. Step four, we made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. This is a daunting step. It's a really daunting step because to look at yourself and not like what you see, you do have, all of us do have an enemy.

He's called the accuser of the brethren. He's called the father of lies. He's called the deceiver. So you've got a devil who's trying to convince you you're guilty of absolutely everything since the JFK assassination. You've got everything on you if you listen to the devil.

But if a searching and fearless moral inventory is a sober look at your life in the light of God's word. Okay? And I have been calling this self examination. That was what was in the early literature. A lot of AA groups, if there are any If they if they go to the Bible for their points, they usually take the book of James which says to take a look at yourself as in a mirror and examine who you are, and it puts a high standard on self examination and we should do that.

Self examination, making a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. If you are just judging yourself though by other people, that's a bad system. You're going to look around and you're to say, there's no way I'm as good as that guy and but I'm so much better than them. Both of those things will come up. So we need an objective standard.

Scripture is that objective standard. I have taken from the letters of Paul mainly. These are from the letters of Paul. These are all the vice lists in the New Testament and a lot of y'all have asked for them. I made 15 copies before the service.

They're available if you want them. Diane has some, we'll make more if we need to. I know you can't read it from the back row, but this list is a good place to start with examining your heart. Now, later on in the sermon, we're gonna hear from Jesus about some of them. We see some of these things up here, but Jesus is gonna make it even more difficult to to ignore.

Okay? Step five. When we find whatever we find in step four, don't stop there. It's depressing. It's really really really hard if you stay wallowing in that.

Don't wallow in it. I heard a guy say this week, there are a thousand steps. You can wander away from God for a thousand steps, but to get back to him, it's only one step back. You know? Admitting whatever that is on that step four.

Admit that to God, which you will be admitting it to yourself too. Admit it to God to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. It helps. It helps. Now, if you got the whole Protestant versus Catholic thing going on in your mind and you're going, oh, we don't need to confess to a man.

There's no way he can absolve us anyway. I know. Oh, okay. Don't go theological on me. It really helps.

Confession helps. Did I leave it in here? Yes. If we confess our sins to God, this is to God. Now we're admitting it to ourselves when we do that.

If we homologueo say the same thing as God about our sin, he's faithful and he's just and he will forgive us of our sins and he will purify us from all unrighteousness. What a promise that is. Hold on to that one. First John one nine. It's primarily about agreeing with God, confess homo logeo, to speak the same, to say the same thing.

I think when we think of confession, it's always like, oh, you got me copper. You know, put the cuffs on me. Like, I did it. I did it. Stop the light.

I can't take it anymore. No, it's it's not that. It's like we just see that, oh, I've been wrong. I'm trash can rolling down a hill. It's one chord in the whole song, Carl.

Come on. If we confess our sins, he's faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and he'll purify us from all unrighteousness. Praise God. And then there's this from James five. Therefore, progressive action present tense verb, be confessing your sins to each other.

Be doing it. Just be confessing your sins to each other and be praying for each other so that y'all may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective. How do we get to be righteous people? Only by God imputing the righteousness of Christ to us and that takes humility.

So if you are humble before God and say, I've got a problem. I can't do anything about. I believe you can help me. I'm gonna let you. This is what it is.

I confess it. Can you help me to a guy or girl that's nearby? Small group helps tremendously for that. It helps tremendously to live in community with other believers that know what's going on in your life and you know what's going on in their life. As as transient a community as this is, we have people coming and going all the time.

You know, the town I'm from, everybody that was there when I got here in 1971, you know, when I got there, It's still there pretty much. That's not the way this place is. We're constantly swirling. We're trying to make a case for biblical community being together and recognizing that the family of God is closer than any other family, and we need to be there. Confessing our sins to one another is good for us.

We were entirely ready to have God remove all of these defects of character. This one, I like the text for this one a few weeks ago from John five, where the guy at the Pool Of Bethesda had been there for thirty eight years and Jesus said to him, do you want to get well? Do you he he was clear he was clarifying. Do you want to be made well? And the guy gave him excuses which Jesus took as a yes.

Thank God. He did want to get well, but he said, I don't have anybody that'll put me in the water after it gets stirred. He's recognizing that he lacks community. Are you entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character? If you want to hold on to the defect, recognizing that it's sin in chapter four and asking God to forgive you in chapter five, and then you get to chapter six and say, but I want to hold on to it because it's too important.

It's a big part of who I am. You're going to stop the process right there. That's going to stop the process right there. In humility, here it is Lord. If the Lord says, arise, take up your pallet and walk.

If he says, go forward and apologize. If he says, go forward from here in any direction he might direct and I don't presume to know what it is for you, even for me for the next week. Whatever it is Lord, I'll do it. I'm ready for you to remove these defects of character. Conviction and a readiness to change.

I don't want to be the way that I am. In our society and in our times, we have a lot of people that are arguing for Jesus loves me just the way I am. Yes, he does, but it's a half truth. Yes, he loves you just the way that you are and he loves you too much to leave you there. He wants to change your life.

He wants to transform your life. He wants to take pride which he resists and allow you the chance to humble yourself and with humility, he can do amazing things. Step seven. Oh, there it is, humility. We humbly asked for him to remove our shortcomings.

The sermon on this one was from John three with Nicodemus, and it's about humble submission and rebirth. It really does require a complete rebirth to the whole thing. It's a clean slate if you will. While we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. He made the way that we could be made right with God and he will lead the way, but he does require that we humbly submit that daily we pick up our cross and we follow him.

He's not asking us to do anything that he didn't do by leaving the glory of heaven and coming down and walking it out. Step eight, we hit this one last week, made a list of all the persons we had harmed and we became willing to make amends to the mall. Did anybody really take a piece of paper and a pen out this week and really make a list? Don't. I'm not looking.

Did you do it? I I've been I've been I've been hesitating, not hesitating. I've been dreading preaching this one because I thought of the people in the list growing and growing and growing. It's like, oh, yeah, that teacher in the first grade when I said such and such. So after the after the service last week, there's a good friend who is a who is a 12 stepper, who's helped a lot of people get sober that came forward and said, hey, I can shorten that list for them.

I said, okay. How do you do we want to shorten the list? Do we want it to be a long list or short list? She says, just generalize it and say, everybody you've ever loved and everybody who's ever loved you. That's the people that you've harmed.

Oh, boy. I would have thought of enemies first, probably. Nope. She's saying the people that you hurt, you always hurt, the ones you love, the ones that you're closest to. The more intimate a relationship is, the more potential danger that can be incurred.

The more we have a chance to hurt the other, the more they have a chance to hurt us. Making a list of the persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all. The willingness there is really really important. The next step, the willingness to make amends is really important. The next step has a little caveat to it.

Now, I went through these last week. I left that over from last week. If you're looking at the list and you find yourself on it and you start circling those things on the list, it's easier to tell who you've hurt by what you know your your main problem is. Right? I said love has to have an object and these sins often have a relational fallout.

So if you are crafty, let's say that's not one that I've listed before. If craftiness is your deal, then your power to manipulate people, you probably hurt the people you manipulated. And so you might come up with a list of names there. But becoming willing, I think that the everybody you've ever loved and everybody who's ever loved you is pretty good. Step eight, we made a list of all the persons we harmed.

It's also recognizing that it's not a victimless crime, that our own sin is not a victimless crime. It hurts us and it hurts other people and it's easy to see with some sins, it's easy to see with alcohol, like we can see the relational problems with that from even from functional alcoholism to absolute off the off the rails. We can see the damage that that's caused, but we don't always see it for some of the other sins. And as church folk, we really need to be honest that maybe we're not in the licentious ditch, but we are in the legalistic ditch and we might have hurt some people that way. We made a list of all the persons that we had harmed, became willing to make amends to the mall and we're starting the sermon with five minutes left for me.

We made direct amends to such people wherever it's possible. Now, sometimes the people you hurt, you can't do anything about it. I heard a horrible story this morning, horrible story from a friend this morning, and he found himself in a situation where he took on the blame for the death of another. It was not his fault, but he took on himself the blame for the death of another person, and there's no way that he can make that up to them. The parents, how can you make that up?

You never can. When I'm doing marital counseling, premarital counseling, I always use ridiculous examples. I would never hope that this never happens. But if I say, you know, he wakes up one morning and has a bad evening sleeping and he's thinking and dwelling on stuff at work and he walks out and he just hauls off and kicks your dog. So this is a husband and wife potential.

Right? Premarital session, bride to be, groom to be, and I say to the if the groom just hauls off and kicks your dog to the bride and the bride's face, even mentioning the possibility of it, will just drop and like, you kicked my dog? Like there's no way to pay back for dog kicking. Okay? It's just there's no way to pay back for it.

I have had folks come to me and say, I did this and I'm afraid that if I admit this, it would cause so much damage and you're right. It probably would. You've admitted it to God, you've admitted it to yourself, you've admitted it to another person, and the relational fallout, let's pray that the spirit would direct on how you're supposed to reconcile, how you're supposed to make that right. You make it right if you can. We may direct amends to such people where possible except when to do so would injure them or others.

And that's something to consider. It has to be spirit led. I cannot tell you which is right. We're gonna see this in Jesus' personal relationships, Matthew five. This is Sermon on the Mount stuff 21 to 26.

You have heard that the ancients were told, you shall not murder and whoever commits murder shall be answerable to the court. But I say to you, it's more difficult than that. That everyone who's angry with his brother shall be answerable to the court. The court. God, the court.

And whoever says to his brother, you're good for nothing, shall be answerable to the supreme court, the highest court, the one who judges rightly. And whoever says, you fool, shall be guilty enough to go into a fiery hell. Oh my goodness. Jesus. Really?

Therefore, because of that, relationships are this important. If you are presenting your offering at the altar, you're doing all the religious stuff and there you remember, oh gosh, I hurt that person. They have a legitimate right to be upset with me because I damaged them. Step eight, that your brother has something against you. I remember that my brother has something against me.

Then leave your offering right there and at once there, just leave it right there before the altar and you go and you go first be actually, I did this first be, sorry. First be, first be, first be reconciled to your brother. Relationships are this important. If you are my people, you're called by my name, I really want for you as much as it's possible for you. I want you to live at peace with all.

You admit you're wrong even if even if it's hard to do that. And then you come and present your offer and don't skip what it is that you're already doing, but first be reconciled to your brother. Come to good terms with your accuser quickly while you're with him on the way. It says to hang out with him, not to separate from him. Small group.

Hey, you get hurt in community, but you also get healed in community. It's the best way. While you still have the chance, come to good terms while you're with him on the way. To court was added. It's in italics in the in ASP, it was added.

But just while you're with him on the way, so that your accuser will not hand you over to the judge. Come to good terms and the judge, the officer and you'll be thrown into prison and it sounds like hyperbole, but truly I say to you, you're not going to get out of this by ignoring it. You're not going to get out of it until you've paid the very last quadrants and couldn't go a whole sermon without Greek, so that is 1 fortieth of a day's wage. That's the last slide that I have, but I'm gonna invite Ken Sandy if you would come up. Ken Sandy is not selling anything.

He is a missionary to his own people. Anybody who needs relational wisdom, he's the he and Corlette are relational wisdom three sixty. He wrote the peacemaker. A lot of good small group material too, but he happened to be here this weekend and he was willing to stand up and tell some stories. And he was watching his watch for the last three minutes.

You never wanna give a attorney the pulpit. I've I've been doing peacemaking for forty two years, lawsuits, divorces, church splits, you name it, I've seen it. And one time not long ago well, actually quite a while ago, I was preaching on this very passage in a small small rural church in Montana. And one of the ways I look at verses twenty three and twenty four, if you're offering your gift to the altar and they'll remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift, first go and be reconciled. Literally, it it says we cannot worship God in an acceptable way if we know there's a broken relationship out there that we've not made every reasonable effort to to heal.

And it often makes me think, what would happen if we modified one of those metal detectors at the airport and put it in the back of the church? Instead of detecting metal in your pockets, it could tell if there was an unreconciled relationship in your life. And you were walking into church. There's a lot of us that sort of walk up to that thing, you know, oh, is it gonna go off? Because we realize, if we really pray about, there is, and there are.

And so I was preaching on that passage about how we need to go and be reconciled. And after the the worship service, the pastor took me out to the one restaurant in town for lunch. And we were just finishing lunch, and I and a a rancher walked through the door. I recognized him from this small church. He looked around, saw us, came over to me and said, thank you for your sermon.

I was so convicted this morning. My next door neighbor and I got in a fight twenty years ago over a fence that he wouldn't help pay half the fees on. I haven't spoken to him in twenty years, and I drove out there right after church today, and I walked up and knocked on his door and said, I need to ask your forgiveness. He said, that guy broke down and started to cry. And we hugged, and we made up, and we're reconciled.

He said, thank you for that. And I've I've experienced this same passage myself, the benefit of it. Number one, I get convicted. There was one Sunday that my wife and I got into a disagreement just before church started that morning. I was supposed to leave the worship service.

And I was thinking, should I go on and just pretend like things are okay when they're not? And I finally called one of the other elders and said, I can't I can't lead worship this morning. Corlette and I need to work some things through because I thought there is this metal detector. It's called the Holy Spirit. He's the one that knows.

But I experienced that in an even more dramatic way some years later. I was involved in the merger of a couple of nonprofits, and one of the people involved in it was really upset about the way it had happened. He wrote a very, very nasty letter. He's an attorney too to one of the organizations involved and accused me of manipulating the process, doing a lot of unethical things. And because I'm an attorney, I can write a pretty good defense brief, and I had all the minutes and the the emails and everything to prove my innocence.

So I wrote long brief, basically a letter, but it was a brief, justifying myself, proving myself right, proving that his allegations were were unfair and inaccurate. Sent it to the board of directors of this organization. They looked into it, and they completely exonerated me. Said there's no indication you did something unethical. So I thought, well, good.

I'm I'm justified. But this other attorney and I, Matt, we both felt sort of bad about how intense we got. And so a couple weeks later, we actually got together, and we had a good conversation. We both admitted some of our attitudes and things we did and practiced some peacemaking. We were reconciled.

So I thought, Five years later, I was going through some files, I came across that letter, and I read it again. Every word in that letter was true, every letter was accurate, there was no falsehood in it whatsoever, And yet I just began to cry. My letter was steeped in sin and self righteousness and a total lack of love for the other person. And I finally, five years later, saw the depth of my sin. We can speak the truth in a very sinful way.

And I picked up the phone and I called Matt. I said, Matt, this is Ken. I need to ask your forgiveness for that letter I wrote five years ago. And he said, we got together. We resolved all that.

That's all behind us. And I said, no, Matt. I didn't begin to see the depth of my sin five years ago. I was so proud. I had so little concern for you, so much of a lack of love for what you were going through, so little effort to really understand your perspective.

I sinned against you so deeply. And I heard Matt start crying on the end of the phone. He said, I can't tell you how much this means to me. Thank you so much. Then we were really reconciled.

Reconciled. And And I think most of us, if we ask the Holy Spirit to really bring to mind some of those relationships, we may think that's five years ago, he's probably forgotten about it. That rancher was twenty years ago that they were unreconciled. And that rancher began to cry, and Matt began to cry. And there's people out there right now that if you went to them with a humble, sincere heart, you could really, really touch their lives.

And I would say don't wait because Matt, the guy in my second story, he died three months after I called him up. I was reconciled. You don't know if those other people are gonna be alive a week from now. So go, and you'll find that in most cases, the Holy Spirit has been preparing a heart for you. Thanks.

And Ken is gonna be down the hall too. What else is gonna be down the hall? It's the the small group Jamboreepalooza. We wanna get you guys really excited about it. And there's been a lot of personal stories here about forgiveness and being accountable people, and you need to be in a small group.

19 ago, I was a very bitter person. I reluctantly was told to go to a small group at a church back home in Ohio because nobody was helping me with my projects, and I was just tight inside. And slowly, those guys met every week, and that started to melt, and God just kinda pulled me back into forgiveness and love. If you don't wanna be in a small group, you probably really need to be in a small group. And they happen really organically here at First Bee.

We don't demand that you're in one. We don't check, but we wanna offer them to you in the best way possible by saying everybody who's about to be in that room wants to be in a small group, is curious about it, or should be in a small group. So if you don't find something down there that already fits what you're looking for, talk to somebody else and form it or or tell us and see how we can do it ourselves. So I'm gonna give you some instructions. The connect hour is still happening down the hall.

So if you can, if you're just down there for grabbing a snack, that's great. But would you keep the door open so people who wanna come in can come in? There are some tables down there for connect hour. Now if you already are a part of a study or you wanna start one, there are these leader name tags. These are just for leaders.

Anybody wearing one of these name tags will be a leader, and you can talk to them and you'll see that they have something to offer. The leaders also on the back of these white pieces of paper are instructions of how to fill this out. It's super easy. Just your group name, target audience, contact person, all that stuff. If you're looking for a small group, see this.

If it if it's yellow, that group is active, and you can look on it and see what they're offering. And then the small group leaders are gonna ask you to fill out this piece of paper just with your contact information. Leaders, at the end of this this event, would you make a copy of this and give it to us, and then keep one for yourself to contact those people. If after all of this, you're frustrated and you have not found a small group, you wanna be in a small group, you're not here, you're watching online, and you've got a group that you want us to know about, there's a QR code on the wall down the hall. You can come talk to me and I'll fill out your information or you can go to the link on the website.

You can also talk to Diane, Mike, or any of us and we'll get you signed up for that. It it's it's one survey where you can let us know that, hey, I don't have a small group. I'd like to be in a small group. I have a small group that I wasn't able to advertise and like to get advertised, or you just wanna complain. That's fine.

You can also do that to me too. It's we're only gonna have it up there for two weeks, though. So if you're watching this in perpetuity in the future, that link won't be there, so don't get frustrated. And now if you are small group leader, would you stand up and go down the hall and fill out this form so that everybody's ready for you? If you're not if you're if you're just everybody else, just sit tight.

I'm gonna turn it back over to Ray. We just wanna get a head start to beat you down there. Thank you so much. Please come down.

Alright. We're gonna sing another song. Yet not I, but but through Christ in me, would you stand? We're gonna sing sing us out down the hall. And thank you, Ken.

I'm so thankful you were here. I had no idea how to end that. Thank you. That was perfect.

I, but through Christ in me.

Amen. And as a benediction this morning, you listen from first John one three. That which we have seen and we have heard, we declare to you that you also may have fellowship with us. And truly, our fellowship is with the father and with his son, Jesus Christ, through the Holy Spirit. Amen.

That was fun.

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12 Steps Confession Forgiveness Making Amends Reconciliation Small Groups

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