Scripture referenced 9 passages
The passage this message was preached from, in full, with every other passage it reached for.
-
1 John 4:4 quoted before singing: 'the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world'
4 You are of God, little children, and have overcome them; because greater is he who is in you than he who is in the world.
World English Bible · Read it in another translation
Keep this verse
Hebrews 12:14
pursue peace with all men and pursue sanctification without which no one will see the Lord
14 Follow after peace with all men, and the sanctification without which no man will see the Lord,
World English Bible · Read it in another translation
Hebrews 12:15
see to it that no one comes short of the grace of God and no root of bitterness springing up causes trouble and by it many be defiled
15 looking carefully lest there be any man who falls short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and many be defiled by it;
World English Bible · Read it in another translation
Romans 8:28
God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God and are called according to his purpose
28 We know that all things work together for good for those who love God, to those who are called according to his purpose.
World English Bible · Read it in another translation
Romans 8:29
predestined to become conformed into the image of his Son
29 For whom he foreknew, he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers.
World English Bible · Read it in another translation
Ephesians 2:8-10
saved by grace through faith not of works so none can boast, we are his workmanship created in Christ Jesus for good works
8 for by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God,
9 not of works, that no one would boast.
10 For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared before that we would walk in them.
World English Bible · Read it in another translation
1 John 1:9
if you confess your sins he is faithful and just to forgive and cleanse from all unrighteousness
9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us the sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
World English Bible · Read it in another translation
Ephesians 4:32
forgiving one another just as God in Christ has forgiven you, cited as the standard for forgiveness
32 And be kind to one another, tender hearted, forgiving each other, just as God also in Christ forgave you.
World English Bible · Read it in another translation
Mark 11:25
when you stand praying if you hold anything against anyone forgive them so your father in heaven may forgive you your sins
25 Whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone; so that your Father, who is in heaven, may also forgive you your transgressions.
World English Bible · Read it in another translation
Recap
The message in order, in a few minutes of reading.
This was a topical message on forgiveness, prompted by two verses in Hebrews 12 about coming short of God's grace and the root of bitterness. The pastor worked through a practical framework he has used in premarital counseling for years, applying it to the whole congregation. The sermon was paired with Communion, and he invited everyone to bring anything they were holding before they took the elements.
What was said
The two verses framing everything were the call to see to it that no one comes short of the grace of God, and the warning that a root of bitterness springing up causes trouble and defiles many. The pastor noted that roots of bitterness will spring up on their own and that the work is not preventing them but pulling them up completely rather than fertilizing them. He admitted that just the week before he had said something out of his own mouth that revealed he had been holding on to something for three or four years without even being fully aware of it.
He then walked through a relational diagram he said he draws for people roughly twice a week. It maps four stages: God relating within Himself, God relating to individuals, individuals relating to one another in what he called "the we," and the overflow of that onto every tribe and tongue and nation around them. The point is that God does His most profound sanctifying work in the discomfort of the we, using the people closest to us the way a sculptor uses a chisel, chipping away what does not look like Christ. Romans 8:28-29 was the anchor there, with the emphasis landing on verse 29, that God predestined believers to be conformed into the image of His Son.
The inner room, by contrast, is where people retreat when they have been hurt, clicking through memories of how they were wronged and nursing the feeling that they were right. Once one person withdraws into it, the pastor said, the other typically follows, and there is nothing the person left outside can do to bring them back. His seminary professor had the class practice acknowledging it out loud, raising a hand and saying, "I am going into my inner room." He said it took him about two hours in that class before he was doing it himself.
He then moved into what he called the forgiveness marker, a tool from a marital counseling class he described as the most practically useful course he took in seminary. For sins a person has committed, the steps are taking a full account of the words, actions, and thoughts that were sinful, grieving how that sin has hurt God and others, asking God to cover those offenses with the blood of Christ, and then actually receiving that cleansing rather than continuing to drag the same confessed sins back into the present. He said receiving God's cleansing is usually where people get stuck, because the weight of what they have done makes genuine forgiveness feel too good to be true.
For sins committed against you, the process runs parallel but the hardest step shifts. You take a full account of the wrong suffered, grieve the hurt and the losses, and then make a deliberate choice to forgive. The pastor was clear that the choice is volitional, not a feeling, because the feeling may not go away. He mentioned a box in his garage labeled with a name and the word "lawsuit," full of evidence he had carried through nine moves, including a letter he wrote but never sent. He said he threw the box away the day before, and should have done it years ago.
Going forward after choosing to forgive, he said, means setting boundaries for acceptable behavior, expecting sincere efforts to change where there is addictive behavior, and no longer bringing up what has already been forgiven in future arguments. Love keeps no record of wrongs, and people cannot live under the weight of feeling that evidence is being stacked against them. The standard he returned to at the end was the one the New Testament sets: forgiving one another just as God in Christ has forgiven you, meaning God took the first step and absorbed the cost, and that is the measure believers are called to reach for.
Doing a Bible study?
Here is a guide we have prepared for you: the passages in order, questions for the group, and room to write.
- The pastor described 'the we' as God's workshop, the place where He does His most profound work in us. Where have you seen that to be true in your own relationships, and what did it cost you to stay in 'the we' rather than retreating to your inner room?
- The pastor said that hurt people hurt people, but that forgiven people forgive people. What does it look like in practice to let your own experience of being forgiven by God change the way you treat someone who has hurt you?
and 3 more questions in the guide
Read the full transcript 8,929 words
0:00
Good morning, everybody. How are you?
0:01
I bet you wanna sing, don't you?
0:04
Me too. Me too. What do you do you say we stand together and we'll sing? Bring your tired and bring your shame. Bring your guilt and bring your pain.
0:24
Don't you know that's not your name. In the world. Bring your doubts and bring your fears. Bring your hurt and bring your tears. There'll be no condemnation here.
1:41
You are holy, righteous, and redeemed. And every time I fall, there'll be those who call me a mistake. Well, that's okay because I hear Lord Sandy calls me redeemed when others say I'll never be enough. Greater is the one living world. Raider is the one living inside of me.
2:32
He who is living in the world, and there'll be days. Now they only days I'll lose them but all grace says that it doesn't matter because cross is already won the war. And I'm learning to run freely, understanding just how he sees me and makes me love him more and more. Let's sing. There'll be days, lay on the days on losing battle.
3:00
Grace says that it doesn't matter because the cross is to and not lie because I hear a voice and he calls me redeemed when others say I'll never be enough. Greater is the one living inside of me world. Greater is the one living inside of me. You is living in the world and greater is. Greater is the one living inside of me is living in the world
4:08
Amen. Y'all can have a seat.
4:09
Have a few announcements. They are Monday nights at first B. It's happening tomorrow night.
4:16
Yep. We are on tomorrow.
4:18
We're in the Proverbs and we're going to look at work. Specifically, work as an act of worship. Work as an act
4:27
of worship from Proverbs, Monday nights starts at 06:00. Six is meal, music, and a message tomorrow night. So, that's happening at the same time as one and if you're wondering, there is Awana for all age groups from two years old up through fifth grade and if you've been through Awana, there are few of em that are going and serving from sixth and seventh grade that are helping out with the younger kids but that is it's on. We're pouring scripture into the minds of the children to reach the hearts of the kids for this next generation. Anything you want to add to that?
4:59
Alright. There's a group for you. Puggles, Cubbies, Sparks, or Truth and Training. Super Bowl of Caring. There's an insert in your bulletin this week.
5:06
Read that if you would. That's from the Good Samaritan Mission. They ask us to, I don't know what it's about. Can you tell? Okay.
5:15
Read that. I don't know what it's about. Alright. Scouting Sunday, I do know what this is about. These not these Boy Scouts but the Boy Scouts have been meeting at 1st B.
5:24
Wherever 1st B's Building has been for eighty seven years as best we can tell. Eighty seven years. So, there are some scouts with us this morning. If you are a Cub Scout or Boy Scout, would you stand? Scouting Sunday and would y'all give them a hand?
5:43
That just so you know, some of y'all have a conditioned response. They're not making pancakes this morning, alright? They are here for scouting Sunday but they're not making you breakfast. So, don't get don't get to salivating too deep there. Bible school, Bible studies today that are happening today during this service downstairs.
6:01
There's a high school aged boys, middle school, high school boys, middle school, high school, age girls, and children's Sunday school all happen right after the music before the sermon time starts. So, that is today happening. We've got a precept study on Thursday mornings at 09:00 sharp. Jeremiah part one, it's a great study. The first 24 chapters of the book of Jeremiah, that's good.
6:25
Jane Kranenburg will be leading that. There is a study over in Teton Valley, Idaho. It's women read the Bible and pray is the way it was announced to me. Women read the Bible and pray at Cecilia and Kurt Connell's home. So, Christian women are invited to join this prayer group.
6:40
It's 08:30 to ten at the Connell's home. There's the address. If you need to know more, Cecilia, would you stand up for just a second and say hello. This is Cecilia. If you're from Teton Valley or if you want to go to Teton Valley at 08:30 on Friday, you're welcome to go to their house.
6:56
Thank you.
7:58
All Hey.
8:19
03:45 to five on Wednesday afternoons and they meet in the Fellowship Hall. That's great. Cool. Chosen girls, that's wonderful. If there's anything that I've forgotten and there probably is, anybody, I'm looking around.
8:30
The men survived the snowmobile retreat. I see that. If there's nothing else, would y'all stand and greet one another and we will bring you back together with the song. That's a pretty cool.
9:24
If you're trying to film the same old olds inside, there's a better life, there's a better life. If you got pain, he's a pain taker. If you feel lost, he's a way maker. If you need freedom, a savior, He's a prison shaking savior If you got chains, He's a chain breaker We've all searched for the light of day and the dead of night But we've all found ourselves worn out from the same old fight. We've all run of things we know that just ain't right.
10:18
Well, there's a better life. There's a better life. If you got pain, he's a pain taker. If you feel lost, he's a way maker. If you need freedom or saving, he's a prison shaking savior.
10:42
If you got chains, he's a chain breaker. And if you believe it, if you believe it, if you receive it, if you feel somebody testify, If you believe it, if you receive it, if you feel it, somebody testify. If you believe it, if you receive it, if you leave feeling, somebody testify. If you got pain, he's a pain taker. If you feel lost, he's a way maker.
11:38
If you need freedom, a savior, He's a prison shaking savior. If you got chains, he's a chain breaker. If you need, if you need freedom, a savior. He's a prison shaking savior. If you got chains, He's a chain breaker.
12:09
This morning, we we sing to you, God. Really, freedom giver. Thank you for giving us freedom. Truly, thank you for giving us freedom. Thank you for being willing to take our pain that we can cast our burdens on you because you care for us.
12:28
So, Lord, right now, as we sing, before we go any further, and and we all carry our burdens, we we do. But can we give those to you? We lay them at your feet. We give them to you. And Lord, the things that we want to keep, would you knock them out of
12:43
our
12:43
hands? So that we don't have to we don't have to carry the the things that that hold us back. That cause bitterness, that cause anything that's not of you. Amen.
13:10
You. Grace. And constant in the trial and the change, this one thing remains. Let's sing that again. You're higher than the mountains that I face, stronger than the power of the grave.
13:49
Constant in the trial and the change, this won't there remain. Your love never fails and never gives up, never runs out on me. Your love never fails and never gives up, never runs out on me. Your never fails and never gives up, never runs out on me. Your love.
14:26
And on and on and on and on it goes. It overwhelms and satisfies my soul. And I never ever have to be afraid. This one thing remains. This one thing remains.
14:58
Your love never fails and never gives up, never runs out on me. Your love never fails and never gives up, never runs out on me. Your love never fails and never gives up, never runs out on me. Your love. And in death and life, And in death and life, I'm confident and covered by the power of your great love.
15:35
And my death is pain. There's nothing that can separate my heart from your great love. And your love never fails and never gives on, never runs out on me. Your love never fails and never gives up, never runs out on me. Your never fails and never gives up,
16:23
From first John four four, here's good news. The one who is in you, that's Christ. As we put our faith in him, regenerated by the Holy Spirit, he is living in us now. We in him, he in us. He's the vine.
16:38
We're the branches. The one who is in you is greater than the one who's in the world, greater than our enemy. Isn't that good news? That's good news.
17:00
Let's sing Seated Above. Seated above and thrown in the father's I'm destined to die, poured out for all man. God's on the sun, you overcame. Jesus, awesome and powerful forever. Awesome and great is your name.
19:38
You overcame, and we will overcome by the blood of the lamb and the word of our testimony. Everyone overcomes. Sing that again. Sing that truth. And we will overcome by the blood of the lamb and the word of our testimony.
20:13
Everyone overcome. Savior worthy of honor and glory, worthy of all our praise. You overcame Jesus, awesome and powerful forever. Awesome and great is your name. You okay.
21:14
Y'all can have a seat. God, thank you for this beautiful morning, lord. Watching the watching the sun come up and this drawback here behind us and seeing the bright colors. What a beautiful, beautiful day we went through yesterday. God, we thank you for breath in our lungs to praise you this morning.
21:35
Creation is crying forth lord day by day. It's pouring forth speech. There's no language where it can't be understood. Lord, may we sharpen the focus. May we sharpen the focus on you and your word.
21:52
Creation is pointing towards you lord but how will they know unless they hear and how will they hear unless there are those who proclaim. So lord, we pray that we would be carriers of your message that our lives would be lived in such a manner after Christ that they're attractive, they're peaceful, even in difficulty, that there's comfort and joy available. God, would you help us to live like we have a hope. In Jesus name, lord, we thank you for all that you have done for us. Lord, may you shine forth bright and shining.
22:35
In Jesus name, we ask you to do what you will this morning through your obedient servants. We take these tithes and offerings and would you put em to work advancing your good gospel, your message, love, and forgive Amen.
23:02
Leave it there. Leave it there. Take your burdens in the Lord and leave it there. If you trust and never doubt, you will surely bring your heart. Take your burdens to the Lord and leave there.
23:22
Show the world from you withhold all of its silver and gold and you're happy along your path. Just remembering God's word, how we feel those little burdens. Take your burden to the Lord leave it there. Leave it there. Leave it there.
23:47
Take your burden to the Lord and leave it there. If you trust and never doubt, he will surely bring you out. Take your burden to the Lord and leave it there. Oh, if your body suffers pain and your health can't regain and your soul is almost sinking in despair. Jesus knows the pain you feel.
24:15
He can save and leave when he take your burden to the Lord. Leave it there. Let's sing it together. Leave it there. Leave Leave it there.
24:28
Take your burden to the Lord and leave it there. If you trust and never doubt, he will surely bring you out. Take your burden to the Lord and leave it there. When your enemies are safe and your heart begins to fail, Don't forget that God in heaven answers prayers. He will make a way for you.
24:55
He will guide you safely through. Take your burden to the Lord and look there. Leave it there. Leave it there. Take your burden to the Lord and leave it there.
25:13
If you trust and never doubt, he will surely bring you out. Take your burden to the Lord and leave it there. If you trust, if you trust and never doubt, he will surely bring you out. Take your burden to the Lord and leave it there. Take your burden take your burden to the Lord Amen.
25:43
Thank you, Carl. Ryan, Florine. It's time for children's church downstairs as well as middle school and high school boys studies if you and girl studies if you want to go. Alright. So, y'all know typically and normally what I do is just go through scripture.
26:06
The folks who go to church here all the time are used to say and whatever the last verse was we did last week, it'll be the, we'll start with the next one this week but I'm going to do a topical sermon today. I mentioned it last week. Give you fair warning. It's on forgiveness. It came up in the midst of the text last week.
26:23
Chapter 12 of Hebrews, we went 12 through 17 last week and we hit this part in the middle and it felt like this is where we ought to go. Forgiveness is definitely biblical. I had a a seminary professor. I've mentioned it before. He was actually the president while I was there and he did a lot of classes.
26:43
I was a teaching assistant and he never used the word gospel. He always said, God's message of love and forgiveness. God's message of love and forgiveness. God loves you and he stands ready to forgive and that's generally true about God. God is love.
26:58
He is ready to forgive. So, we're going to go topical into forgiveness right now. I, if I get fifteen minutes, I do a lot of weddings. Y'all know that. I do lots and lots of weddings and if I get just a few minutes with the couple beforehand, I usually ask for a couple of hours a few days before and if I know em well, we might do three or four sessions but if I just have fifteen minutes, the thing I'm going to talk about is forgiveness.
27:31
Love, if they're coming to get married, they got that. Forgiveness is not guaranteed. We don't forgive well. As people we don't generally forgive well. But we're going to go through what I usually go through.
27:46
This is sort of like a premarital session for 200 and something people, most of which are married. So to start off with, this is where we were last week. If you weren't here last week, pursue peace with all men. Actively be pursuing peace with all people, okay? And be pursuing also the sanctification.
28:09
That's the cleansing, that's the setting apart for holy use for goodness. It is the process of our transformation and becoming more and more Christ like as believers. Pursue sanctification. That sanctification without with no one will see the Lord. If salvation happens, sanctification will accompany it.
28:31
That's the point of this. Pursue peace with all men and pursue the sanctification. Lean into the discipline of God. That's the passage above this and below is about. Pursue peace with all men and sanctification without which no one will see the Lord and see to it.
28:48
There are three clauses in this sentence that are see to it clauses. I'm only going to cover two of em. I'm really going to just concentrate on one of em. See to it that no one comes short of the grace of God. It requires the grace of God for you to be forgiven, for you to be saved, for you to be in right relationship with him.
29:08
It requires God's grace. His unmerited favor. We have done nothing to deserve the favor of God. We've done nothing to deserve the love of God. We've done nothing to deserve the forgiveness of God.
29:21
So, it requires his grace. See to it that no one comes short of the grace of God. You cannot earn it. You can humbly accept it. That's the terms.
29:32
Those are the conditions. He's in charge. He's the one who made up the terms. You can accept those terms or in your pride, lack his forgiveness, okay? See to it that no one comes short of the grace of God.
29:46
See to it that no root of bitterness springing up causes trouble. Now, last week, I pointed out that the roots of bitterness are going to be springing up. You can't control that. You can't control what other people do. I'm convinced that sometimes we can't even control what we do.
30:01
Do you think that's true? Yes. Okay. See to it that no one comes short of the grace of God. His grace is sufficient for you.
30:10
His grace is sufficient and with Christ leading and submitting your will to his will, you can be under the control of the spirit. You can be. See to it that no one comes short of the grace of God. See to it that no root of bitterness springing up causes trouble. And by it many be defiled.
30:31
So those are the verses we're going through today. Just two of them. But that right there is what we're concentrating on. And last week I used this. When these unwanted roots of bitterness spring up, don't fertilize and nourish the roots of bitterness because then you get the fruit that's bitter fruit, right?
30:53
Take care to pull em up at their roots. Get all the way to the bottom of it. I told y'all last week, I hit a hit something I've been holding on to for three or four years and hadn't even realized it. It was below my level of conscious thought. I wouldn't have said that I'd it bothered me but then it came out.
31:09
Right out of my big, fat, ugly mouth. Ugh. And it felt so horrible but it was the truth. I was holding on to it but that allowed for me to see it and to get it, we'll go through the process together today of getting that before God. Completely obliterate these roots of bitterness with the grace that God has extended to you.
31:30
See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God. Recognize that you didn't do anything to deserve his forgiveness and love and since he's given it, you can, likewise, in his spirit, extend that grace, love, and forgiveness to others. Access God's mercy and his loving kindness and use it like round up. That was last week, okay? Have you all heard this hurt people, hurt people?
31:53
It is so true. Let's strike that out. And say, forgiven people, forgive people. Forgiven people, forgive people. If you recognize the weight of your own sin and you give it over to God and he relieves you of your burden.
32:11
You leave it there as the song says. You are freed up then to pass that along to other people. I'm not saying be a doormat. I'm not saying stand for constant abuse but if you are, run over and if you are suffering, let it be suffering for Jesus, the fellowship of the sufferings of Christ. Let it be righteous that you're a forgiven person and you're seeking to forgive people.
32:40
So, I draw this drawing actually all the time. I don't know how many times I've drawn this. I've drawn this little drawing right here. I'm going to do a representation of it up there on the screen. Probably 100 times a year since I've been here.
32:55
At least twice a week, I'm drawing this for somebody. God's love and truth. It's really one thing, okay? God's love. God is love and Jesus says, I'm the way, I'm the truth, I'm the life.
33:06
He is love but I'm going draw it as two clouds. That's the first stage of relationship. God has been in eternal relationship. Father, son, and Holy Spirit. He has been relating all of this time.
33:22
The primary function of the godhead of all these, the trinity is relationship. They relate to each other and I have been forever. So, that's first stage relationship. The next, at some point, after God spoke time into existence and he spoke people into existence, he spoke an individual and related to him. That was Adam, right?
33:44
And then he saw that it was not good for man to be alone. So, created another individual also relates to that individual and it has been this way since. We have God, the first stage of relationship relating to himself but at some time in the past, as perfect as he is and as that was, he decided to create human beings and relate to them. So, that second stage of relationship is God and man and woman, okay? God and mankind.
34:14
Two individuals but that overlap right there and generally, in my circumstance, I'm doing this as a premarital situation. It feels really weird not to just be expositing scripture right now, I have to say. I'm more comfortable with that. Pray for me. I'm I'm dead serious.
34:36
The we. That place where human beings interact with one another, we can call the we. And in my case, usually, it's nice because the symbol for marriage is these two interlock and are overlapping rings, right? So, us, it's nice and it's pretty but I draw this for a reason that pursuing peace with all men, it's easy to pursue peace with all men when you're not around them. Right?
35:05
But when you're with them, it's harder and when you live with them, it's even harder than that. So, pursuing peace with all is why I put that up there. That we, I had a professor that called this. He said, the we is God's workshop. God does his most profound work with human beings in the context of community.
35:25
I know you need to withdraw into the wilderness to pray. I need to withdraw to the highway to pray. I know that that's the way that it is but when we get together with people, we sometimes discover our lack and we discover our shortfall. So, the we is God's workshop. That's where he is doing his most profound work and so that sanctification is what's happening in the we, okay?
35:50
God is sanctifying. By the way, he uses absolutely everybody around us all the time. Especially our spouse, I think. That's the highlight that I usually draw on a premarital session but that sanctification the we is God's workshop. It's his sanctification studio if you will, okay?
36:10
That's the place where you're going to be the most affected. I was an art major when Tanya and I met. Y'all remember that? I was a sculpture major when we met and so, I was building things. Sometimes, it was additive.
36:25
Sometimes, it's subtractive. I've carved out of stone. I've carved out of wood. I've carved out all kinds of stuff. If I want to make a sculpture of an elephant, not that I'm going Hindu.
36:35
I'm not carving Ganesh but hey, if if I'm making a sculpture of an elephant and I've got something this big to carve it out of, what do I do? I chip away, right? If it's a stone, I chip away at the stone with a chisel and hammer. What do I chip away? The part that don't look like an elephant.
36:56
Exactly. The unwanted parts. The parts that are not like what I'm making this into. So, Romans eight twenty eight, we all know it. We're going through hard times.
37:06
We hold on to it. We know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to his purpose. Look at the next verse. For those whom he foreknew, those who accept him, those whom he foreknew, he also predestined and don't get hung up on predestination. Look what he predestined them to do.
37:27
He predestined them to become conformed into the image of his son. So, if I'm making a sculpture of an elephant, I'm making it out of a block this big. I have predestined. I'm making an elephant. If God is using the raw material that is us with our wicked human nature and he is conforming us more and more into the image of his son and the we is the workshop or sanctification studio that's gonna be the place where we have the most opportunity for growth.
38:03
Sticking to the we is the way that we'll have the greatest opportunity for growth. So that's God's workshop. Now, consider this, it's by grace that we've been saved through faith. It's not works so that none of us can boast. It's the gift of God.
38:21
It's not a result of your works. I've already covered that more than once so that no one can boast but we are his workmanship and we have been created in Christ Jesus to do good works, to do good things which God prepared beforehand so that we walk in So, in the we, it's not just about two people. Now, I usually use this in marriage but this can be anybody that you've got a relationship with. Hanging into the we is necessary for what comes out of that. What comes out of that is stage four of relationship.
38:58
So, relating to himself perfectly fine and content yet, he chose to relate to individuals. He gave us the opportunity to relate to one another and the way that we, the body of Christ, now, relate to one another has an overflow onto the world around us. Y'all hear this every week. You hear this? Presented a lot.
39:19
May we live our lives in such a way that it's attractive for others to come to know the love and truth of God. It's not just so they're like us. So, the fourth stage of relationship is every tribe, tongue, and nation, everybody else, everywhere else, all over, everywhere. Is affected by how we relate to one another. So far so good, right?
39:41
It sounds easy. Man, that's a pretty little design. Nice drawing. The we right there is where we want to stay but where we are tempted to go is the inner room. That's what that little word says there.
39:56
Those little words. We all have within us an inner room and in that inner room is the place where we fill up on the toxic sludge of this guy mistreated me and that guy mistreated me and my wife never does this and my husband always says he's going to but never does that. And it's not just one of us. Once one of us goes into our inner room, the other one usually retreats in there too. Do you agree?
40:22
We all have an inner room. I'll say that. It's a it's a it's a construct. Don't take it as psychobabble. You might call it pouting.
40:32
But it's the my my professor would say it's where we sit and click through the big screen TVs of all the ways that we have been mistreated in our life. Flashing every memory through and we get to feel like though I'm right. They still won. They got the best of me. So, sticking with the we is the goal because that's where God does his most profound work.
40:55
Does God usually work when we're in our in a room and system that we're right? Proudly so? God resists the proud. He gives grace to the humble and so, that little drawing helped, I hope to illustrate really just to give a vocabulary to get it started. Now, when people come in and they're getting married and I say this, they're all Twitterpated.
41:17
Absolutely Twitterpated and they're
41:18
like, yeah, there's nothing he can do wrong. I love the way he brushes his teeth.
41:24
But eventually, you're gonna sin against one another. Oh, by the way, the community groups, that's the one that I forgot. Community groups are starting up soon. And last week, right after we advertised community groups, James got up and did this great thing about community groups. One of the first things out of my mouth I said, if you spend much time in community, you're going to sin against one another.
41:45
It's true. But that was not really an advertisement for community groups. It will give you a chance to work this theory out but I also hand out this along with it. This is the forgiveness marker. I had one class in seminary that I think stands out above all of the rest of them in practicality.
42:05
I had lots of Bible classes, lots of theology classes, lots of practical classes but at a counseling class called marital, premarital, and family counseling. I think that was the best class I ever took. It was all biblical but it wasn't chapter and verse all the way through. It was not the way I prefer to study scripture but I think it's all biblical. Would you pray with me while we go over this one?
42:28
God, help us. Help me not to say anything untrue or unhelpful. I pray lord that you would begin a work here today that has been lingering for some time. In my life and in the lives of everyone that will hear this. In Jesus name, lord, will you bring to my remembrance the things that you want to come out.
42:54
Amen. So, I've got this in English. I've got this in Spanish. I have translated it into Romanian one time. Had somebody help.
43:07
I think that this is really helpful and I think that because we're human beings, we can only deal and let me do this. It's that's what it looks like. This is what we're going through and it's going to be fast, okay? Forgive me for the time. Forgive me.
43:21
Sorry. Past, present, and future. That's the only way we can think about things. Have you all escaped the time, space time continuum? Because I have not.
43:33
I can only do this in the present but I'm conscious of what's happened in the past. I'm conscious of what might happen in the future and sometimes I worry about the future and a lot of times I find myself living in the past. Last week, I talked about how this present moment is the best gift that you have in front of is right now. You can really only forgive in the present. You can forgive in the present and you can stand in forgiveness both for yourself and extending it to others in the present.
44:04
We're tempted to go back and pick it back up but the word in Greek for forgive is to release. I pay me. I have released this back off of this thing three times since I've been up here today. I just let it fall. Now, I keep on picking it back up.
44:20
I didn't do that on purpose but means to release. It's used in Homer. It's used in the Bible. It's used of a sailor holding on to a rope that has an anchor on the bottom of that if he doesn't let go of it, it's going to burn through his hands as it sinks and he's going to keep grabbing or he can let it go and it'll just be gone. It's used of holding on to a sail that's going to pull you over the side of the boat.
44:47
You can let it go. Let it go. It's what it means. Not to quote frozen but let it go. Okay.
44:55
Past, present, future. You can forgive or stand in forgiveness in the present. The past, we have to be concerned with primarily two things when we're talking about forgiveness. Either, it is sins that I, myself, have committed against God and other people or we're talking about sins that other people have committed against me. Which one is of those are easier to see?
45:17
Okay, let's start with the other one. I'm going to start with the other one because Jesus said that before you try to remove the speck from your brother's eye or your wife's eye or your spouse's eye, I mean, whatever. Before you try to remove that speck from there, make sure you've got the plank out of your own. So, for sins that I have committed against God and against other people, the first thing you need to do is take a full account, a full account, a full account of the words and the actions and the thoughts that were sinful. I know the words are, these are my notes, sorry.
45:52
I know the words are really small. Take a full account of the words, the actions, and the thoughts that were sin ful. If you hadn't done this in a while, it could take a while, right? God stands ready to forgive blanket forgiveness but it's really good for you. Really, really, really good for you.
46:11
Even as a believer in Jesus with your sins washed away to acknowledge them, to admit them, to list them even for yourself. 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. I think the first three, we admitted we were powerless over our problem. Sin's a problem, right? It is a problem but we're powerless.
46:35
So, we can't do anything about it. Once we've sinned, we can't do anything about ourselves but God's making an offer. So, we came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. God is making an offer to forgive and do something, deal with that sin. We've made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood him and then we get up to what I have up here is A one.
47:00
Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves and making that searching and fearless, moral inventory, we take account of the words and the actions and the thoughts that were sinful and we grieve. Grief is a part of forgiveness. It's a huge part of forgiveness. Loss of relationship that we caused in this case, the loss of relationship that we ourselves caused by what we said, what we did, or or what we allowed ourselves to keep on thinking. Grieve how that sin has hurt God and how it's hurt other people.
47:43
I can't put a time frame on how long that'll take. Grief, sometimes we get stuck in grief. I can say that if you keep short accounts, it's easier to deal with than long accounts. CPAs, there are several of y'all out here. If somebody brings you a trash can size box and just brings you all the receipts on April 1, what do you say?
48:04
Take that somewhere else. I can't deal with that. If they bring you their receipts weekly or monthly, then you can deal with them, right? Short accounts, keep short accounts, and the grief is not as overwhelming. Take full account of the words, actions, and thoughts that are sinful.
48:21
Grieve how that sin has hurt God and others. Ask God to cover the offenses with the blood of Christ and to actually remove the guilt. This is not psychobabble. We're not just trying to get rid of a guilty feeling. We're trying to get rid of actual guilt.
48:34
There is such a thing. Actual guilt and what can wash away my sin? Baptist, come on. What can wash away my sin? Nothing but the blood of Jesus.
48:46
Nothing but the blood of Jesus. Ask God to cover these offenses with the blood of Christ and to remove all the guilt and you know what? First John one nine, first John's the next book we're going to. First John one nine says, that he will. If you're, if you confess your sins, I'm faithful and just to be forgiven your sins and I will cleanse you from all unrighteousness.
49:10
Open yourself up to the sanctification of God. Lean into it and he will transform your life. Ask God to cover these offenses with the blood of Christ. Remove the guilt. Now, most people get stuck right here on this side of the equation.
49:25
Receiving God's cleansing. If you really understand the weight of your sin, it seems too much for God to just bear it. It seems too much for it to be. It seems like it's too good to be true that Christ actually took that punishment and it's over but that's what God says and that's what it has to be trusted. Receive God's cleansing.
49:52
Now, confessing your sin to others in the steps down past humbly asking to remove our shortcomings. That's up there. Made a list of all persons we harmed, became willing to make amends to them all, made direct amends to such people whenever possible. This is when it's possible and it's appropriate, you make restitution. You can pay back for some things.
50:18
But if you kick somebody's dog, can you pay back for that? No. If you cuss somebody's ask, can you pay back for that? No. When it's possible and it's appropriate.
50:33
If you've heard a child come to me. Don't go to them and try to unburden yourself on them and their parents. Come to me. Tell somebody. Tell somebody.
50:46
Can walk through it with you. Confess your sin to others and when it's possible and when it's appropriate, make restitution. Receiving God's cleansing on this side is usually the hardest part. We know that God is supposed to forgive us if we ask. We know that but when we do it, a lot of times, we do it again the next day and we do it again the next day and we do it again months later.
51:10
We keep on remembering the same sins because we live in past, present, future, and we can't do like God can. God says, I will throw it into the sea of forgiveness and remember it no more. I'll throw it as far as the East is from the West and remember it no more. I will blot out your transgressions though your sins be as scarlet, they'll be as white as snow. He says this because he knows it's true.
51:30
Trust him. Receive his cleansing. Now, you can stand forgiven. Forgiven. By asking for it.
51:41
By humbly asking for it. So, forgiving people, forgive people. We'll talk about the next part here. For sins that are committed against me, boy, do we want to hold on to these? And they're painful but for sins committed against me, it's good.
52:00
The discovery phase. There there are different ways of looking at this. This one I find to be the most helpful. The discovery phase is similar down here as it was up top. You take a full account of the wrong that you've suffered.
52:12
It might be something that someone said. It might be something that someone did. It might be how someone did not meet your unrealistic expectations or your realistic expectations really. Take a full account of the wrong suffered. I I have had people come to me.
52:30
I had somebody that came to me and said, thirteen years ago, somebody hurt me. It was an assault on a college campus, sexual nature. And since then, had not been able to form any relationships with anybody because she couldn't trust anybody. Now, it was thirteen years. It took a while.
52:56
She left the office with a yellow pad and was writing when she left and we got together a few days later taking a full account of the wrong suffer might actually take a while. Keep short accounts. Keep short accounts because if you take at the end of your day, you take an estimation of how things went. It's a whole lot easier to turn those things over a little at a time. Take a full account of the wrong suffered and then, grieve the hurt and the lost.
53:25
Now, in her case, she had been grieving non specifically for thirteen years at least and maybe longer. But grieve the hurt and the losses that were suffered. One of those is loss of relationship and sometimes that separates you from other people too because you've pulled completely out of the way. There's not any going back in there. Not gonna happen.
53:49
In your inner room so long that it just begins to pull apart. So, grieving the hurt and the loss. I I was cleaning the garage yesterday. I don't do that very often. And I hit on a box that we have moved, I think nine times.
54:07
It's a box this big. And on the outside of it, it says somebody's name and then a lawsuit. Just in case we ever need to sue this guy, this is the box of evidence. And it's damning evidence. Really is.
54:22
I had in there a letter that I wrote, I didn't send, but I wrote. And I looked at it yesterday and I thought, man, I was angry. I was very hurt and then, I also thought and I was right. Not not right to be angry because he's a human being. He's going to make mistakes.
54:44
He's going to sin. He's gonna sin against me. We actually eventually got together and had a meeting and we were able to forgive one another and all that but I wrote that letter before that. I know it's hard to grieve the hurt and the loss. I understand that.
54:58
Grieving the hurt and the loss is important. The feelings that go along with hurt and loss are despair and hopelessness self righteousness but if you'll think for a moment about the things that you have done and how bad they hurt God and others and how bad they hurt you that you couldn't take em back. It gets you to the place of having to say, making a decision. This thing's not clicking anymore, Blake. Did I put the batteries in upside down?
55:46
Making a choice to forgive. Make a choice to forgive. It's actually volitional. It really is. That sounds crazy but if you wait on the feeling to go away, that feeling might not ever go away.
55:59
If you read fourteen years later, you might say, I was right. Make a choice to forgive and this is definitely the hardest on this end of things because because the other two, you know exactly what happened and it starts hurting immediately and it keeps on hurting until God deals with it in you. So, make a choice to forgive and then, you have to let go of any expectation for restitution because again, there's no way to pay back for some of the stuff that we do to one another. Was that too simple? It's it's not easy.
56:43
I try to try to simplify it on the front side and let people keep short accounts. Now, going forward, you don't have to go forward in relationship with absolutely everybody you meet all the time. With your spouse, there is that kind of expectation. We're going to stay together. So, we're going to stay in the we.
57:00
If you get into your inner room, you're going to pull this thing apart. If you and the other thing about that inner room is once one of you goes in, there's nothing the other one can do to bring you My professor said, that this took him six months. The it took him a whole semester to do this. Probably should've taken me that long. He he said, when you go into your inner room, raise your right hand and say out loud, I'm going into my inner room.
57:22
At least both of you will know. It. I, sitting next to my wife, she took the class with me. I leaned over and said, Tanya, does this guy not know we're like missionaries and preachers and everything? Come on.
57:34
What's he think we are? And she knowingly said, just listen. Two hours later, I was raising my right hand and saying,
57:44
I'm going into my inner room.
57:48
You can forgive in the present. You can. You can make a decision to forgive. The grief is going to pursue you and you're going to want to pick it back up. But our standard as believers, our standard for forgiveness and making that decision to forgive.
58:03
God made a decision to forgive us. And he says that we should be forgiven one another just as God in Christ has forgiven you. That's a high standard. Who took the first step? He did.
58:18
Who took the hit? He did. Just as God in Christ has forgiven you. Let go of any expectation for restitution because there's nothing really that can be done. Now, legally, there may be ramifications and they have to pay you back if they stole something from you but you gotta let that go in a in order to stay spiritually sound.
58:42
Making a choice to forgive is the hardest part. So, going forward, while trust is being built, set boundaries for acceptable behavior. We'll come back to this. I'm gonna run through them. We'll come back to this because we still have communion to do.
58:55
Set boundaries for acceptable behavior together. If both of you understand what happened and both of you are willing to go forward in the way, this will not be as difficult as it sounds. Expect sincere efforts to change if there's any addictive behavior. This is the hardest one. Expecting a sincere effort to change after they've tried to change so many times before is the hardest.
59:23
Or for some of you who have long memories, as needed, remember the past is forgiven. In a future argument, you want to bring up something that you already said you forgave, did you? Or you still holding it? Did you throw it in the sea of forgetfulness? I know you can't forget it but if our standard is just as God in Christ has forgiven you, you have to put it out of your mind.
59:45
People can't live. Love keeps no record of wrongs. People can't live with feeling like you have a stack of evidence against them. I threw the box away by the way. I should have done that years ago.
59:59
Renew my commitment to move forward. Renew your commitment to move forward. Go forward while trust is being built. It will be reestablished. It might be a while.
1:00:11
Alright. There's more. Going forward with a mutual commitment and a growing trust. This matters of circling back around. So commit to going forward, trust in that God will provide whatever will be needed for the relationship.
1:00:24
If God saw fit to put you together, do you believe that he has what it takes to keep you together? If both of you are willing, he does. So, God's love and truth. First stage is, God has all of the resources if you're exploring and enjoying but not being responsible for each other's individual growth with God's love and truth. You commit to resolving your differences respectfully because the we is an uncomfortable place and I'll say this about God's workshop.
1:00:58
If God could get the job done with you just being some fine sandpaper, Be that and not a heavy chisel and a big hammer. Differences respectfully is important. Commit to solving those in God's workshop. So, right here, we've covered that no root of bitterness springing up causes trouble because you're dealing with it. I want to skip to this.
1:01:24
Commit to seeing this relationship as a means for kingdom preparation and I say advance because this is the way it advances. When somebody sees people who are loving and forgiving, it's attractive. So, the fourth, every tribe, tongue, and nation is dependent upon how we stay in the we Because many can be defiled. How much damage have church splits done? How much damage have bitter divorces done?
1:01:57
How much damage has fighting done? It can be contained to the weak if you will. Humbly. Admit to God your shortcomings and be standing ready, forgiving yourself with forgiveness for the other and I think. Yeah.
1:02:18
That's it. Alright. Alright. I'll be back to expository the next time I preach. Promise.
1:02:26
Would y'all stand? And we'll pray. Actually, I'm going to invite the elders forward. Sorry about that. Forgot all about communion.
1:02:34
There are harsh warnings actually in scripture for for taking communion unworthily. Now, we're none of us are worthy of the blood of Christ but having accepted Christ and having come to him and being in his kingdom, being a part of his family. We still can hold bitterness and grudges. Would you take the time right now as I pray to say, God, I want that gone. I want to forgive.
1:03:03
I want to be forgiven and I want to forgive. Show me what to do and I'll do it and then, the blood of Christ is what we're going to represent here, the body and blood. Lord, would you bless this little cracker, this body, you live this out perfectly and lord, you are still mistreated. You live this out perfectly and you spilled your precious blood on that old rugged cross. Lord, would you have your will and your way this morning?
1:03:29
Show us where we are falling short. Give us the strength to confess and move forward. Amen. Y'all can have a seat and they're going to come around with the cracker first and then juice next. Sing along if you know this.
1:03:51
On a hill far away stood an old rugged cross the emblem of suffering and shame and I love that old cross where the dearest and best for a world of lost sinners was slain so I'll cherish the old rugged cross till my trophies at last I lay down I will cling to the old rugged cross and exchange it someday for oh the old rugged cross so despised by the world has a wondrous attraction for so I'll cherish the old rugged cross till my trophies at last I lay will cling to the old rugged cross exchange it someday for so I'll cherish the old rugged till my trophies at last at I will cling to the all rugged cross and exchange it someday for a crown
1:06:56
On the same night that Jesus was betrayed, that shows you right there. On the same night that Jesus was betrayed, he took bread after supper. After he'd given thanks, he broke it and he gave it to his disciples. He said, this is my body which is broken for you. Take this and eat and do it as often as you will in remembrance of me.
1:07:25
We thank you lord that you lived, submitted to the spirit, and walked out steps of a perfect life. That your burden was light because you did not have any sin to your account and you are willing to give that to anyone who would trust in you. Thank you for your blood that was shed, innocent blood to pay for guilty souls. In Jesus name, lord, we ask that you bless this cup as we distribute it. Amen.
1:08:11
To the old rugged cross I will ever be true it's shame and reproach gladly bear then you call me someday to my home far away where is glory forever I'll share so I'll cherish the old rugged cross where the dearest and best for a world of lost sinners was slain so I'll cherish the old rugged cross till my trophy's at last I lay down I will cling to the old rugged broths and exchange it someday for a crown. Let's play.
1:11:33
In the same manner that he'd taken the bread, he took the cup and he told his disciples there and he tells us still today. This is the new covenant in my blood. The old covenant, it's all on you. With new covenant was taken upon Christ. He told his disciples, this is new covenant in my blood.
1:11:52
Take this and drink and do it as often as you will in remem ance of me Amen. How about the doxology? Would you all stand with me
1:12:10
Praise God from whom all blessings flow. Praise him all creatures here below. Praise him above ye heavenly host. Praise father, son, and holy ghost.
1:12:42
Amen. And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them. Forgive them. So that your father in heaven may forgive you your sins. Lord, would you do it?
1:12:55
Amen.
Share this message
Every word on these came out of the message. Download one and post it anywhere.
