Submitting to One Another in the Fear of Christ
June 7, 2026 · Ephesians
Scripture referenced 27 passages
The passage this message was preached from, in full, with every other passage it reached for.
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Ephesians 5:17 where the preacher left off before being away from the pulpit
17 Therefore don’t be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is.
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Keep this verse
Ephesians 5:18-21
the passage Van preached on the previous week
18 Don’t be drunken with wine, in which is dissipation, but be filled with the Spirit,
19 speaking to one another in psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs; singing, and making melody in your heart to the Lord;
20 giving thanks always concerning all things in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, to God, even the Father;
21 subjecting yourselves to one another in the fear of Christ.
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Ephesians 4:1
Paul urging believers to walk worthy of their calling with humility, gentleness, and patience
1 I therefore, the prisoner in the Lord, beg you to walk worthily of the calling with which you were called,
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Ephesians 4:3
being diligent to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace
3 being eager to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.
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Ephesians 4:4-6
the repeated refrain of one body, one Spirit, one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God
4 There is one body, and one Spirit, even as you also were called in one hope of your calling;
5 one Lord, one faith, one baptism,
6 one God and Father of all, who is over all, and through all, and in us all.
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Ephesians 5:1
therefore be imitators of God as dearly beloved children
1 Be therefore imitators of God, as beloved children.
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Ephesians 5:2
walk in love as Christ loved us and gave himself up as a fragrant offering
2 Walk in love, even as Christ also loved you, and gave himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling fragrance.
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Ephesians 5:15
be careful how you walk, not as unwise but as wise
15 Therefore watch carefully how you walk, not as unwise, but as wise;
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John 17
Jesus's high priestly prayer, may they be one just as we are one
1 Jesus said these things, and lifting up his eyes to heaven, he said, “Father, the time has come. Glorify your Son, that your Son may also glorify you;
2 even as you gave him authority over all flesh, so he will give eternal life to all whom you have given him.
3 This is eternal life, that they should know you, the only true God, and him whom you sent, Jesus Christ.
4 I glorified you on the earth. I have accomplished the work which you have given me to do.
5 Now, Father, glorify me with your own self with the glory which I had with you before the world existed.
6 I revealed your name to the people whom you have given me out of the world. They were yours, and you have given them to me. They have kept your word.
7 Now they have known that all things whatever you have given me are from you,
8 for the words which you have given me I have given to them, and they received them, and knew for sure that I came from you, and they have believed that you sent me.
9 I pray for them. I don’t pray for the world, but for those whom you have given me, for they are yours.
10 All things that are mine are yours, and yours are mine, and I am glorified in them.
11 I am no more in the world, but these are in the world, and I am coming to you. Holy Father, keep them through your name which you have given me, that they may be one, even as we are.
12 While I was with them in the world, I kept them in your name. Those whom you have given me I have kept. None of them is lost, except the son of destruction, that the Scripture might be fulfilled.
13 But now I come to you, and I say these things in the world, that they may have my joy made full in themselves.
14 I have given them your word. The world hated them, because they are not of the world, even as I am not of the world.
15 I pray not that you would take them from the world, but that you would keep them from the evil one.
16 They are not of the world even as I am not of the world.
17 Sanctify them in your truth. Your word is truth.
18 As you sent me into the world, even so I have sent them into the world.
19 For their sakes I sanctify myself, that they themselves also may be sanctified in truth.
20 Not for these only do I pray, but for those also who will believe in me through their word,
21 that they may all be one; even as you, Father, are in me, and I in you, that they also may be one in us; that the world may believe that you sent me.
22 The glory which you have given me, I have given to them; that they may be one, even as we are one;
23 I in them, and you in me, that they may be perfected into one; that the world may know that you sent me, and loved them, even as you loved me.
24 Father, I desire that they also whom you have given me be with me where I am, that they may see my glory, which you have given me, for you loved me before the foundation of the world.
25 Righteous Father, the world hasn’t known you, but I knew you; and these knew that you sent me.
26 I made known to them your name, and will make it known; that the love with which you loved me may be in them, and I in them.”
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Ephesians 5:21
the hinge verse, submitting to one another in the fear of Christ
21 subjecting yourselves to one another in the fear of Christ.
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Ephesians 5:22-24
wives to their own husbands as to the Lord, with Christ as head of the church
22 Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord.
23 For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the assembly, being himself the savior of the body.
24 But as the assembly is subject to Christ, so let the wives also be to their own husbands in everything.
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Ephesians 5:25
husbands love your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her
25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the assembly, and gave himself up for it;
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Ephesians 5:26
sanctifying and cleansing the church by the washing of water with the word
26 that he might sanctify it, having cleansed it by the washing of water with the word,
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Ephesians 5:27
presenting the church in glory without spot or wrinkle, holy and blameless
27 that he might present the assembly to himself gloriously, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without defect.
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Ephesians 5:28-30
husbands to love their wives as their own bodies, as Christ nourishes the church
28 Even so husbands also ought to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself.
29 For no man ever hated his own flesh; but nourishes and cherishes it, even as the Lord also does the assembly;
30 because we are members of his body, of his flesh and bones.
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Ephesians 5:31
a man shall leave father and mother and be joined to his wife, the two becoming one flesh
31 “For this cause a man will leave his father and mother, and will be joined to his wife. The two will become one flesh.”
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Ephesians 5:32
Paul calling the mystery of marriage great, speaking with reference to Christ and the church
32 This mystery is great, but I speak concerning Christ and of the assembly.
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Ephesians 5:33
closing admonition for each husband to love his wife and wife to respect her husband
33 Nevertheless each of you must also love his own wife even as himself; and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
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Ephesians 6:1
children obey your parents in the Lord for this is right
1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.
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Ephesians 6:2-3
honor your father and mother, the first commandment with a promise, so it may go well with you
2 “Honor your father and mother,” which is the first commandment with a promise:
3 “that it may be well with you, and you may live long on the earth.”
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Ephesians 6:4
fathers do not provoke your children to anger but bring them up in discipline and instruction of the Lord
4 You fathers, don’t provoke your children to wrath, but nurture them in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
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Ephesians 6:5-7
bond servants obey masters with sincerity of heart as to Christ, not by eye service
5 Servants, be obedient to those who according to the flesh are your masters, with fear and trembling, in singleness of your heart, as to Christ;
6 not in the way of service only when eyes are on you, as men pleasers; but as servants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart;
7 with good will doing service, as to the Lord, and not to men;
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Ephesians 6:8
knowing whatever good one does will be received back from the Lord whether slave or free
8 knowing that whatever good thing each one does, he will receive the same again from the Lord, whether he is bound or free.
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Ephesians 6:9
masters do the same, give up threatening, knowing their master and yours is in heaven with no partiality
9 You masters, do the same things to them, and give up threatening, knowing that he who is both their Master and yours is in heaven, and there is no partiality with him.
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Galatians 3:28
cited as a key text the egalitarian view uses to argue there is no male and female in Christ
28 There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free man, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus.
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1 Timothy 2
cited as a text complementarians use to argue for permanent gender distinctions in leadership
1 I exhort therefore, first of all, that petitions, prayers, intercessions, and givings of thanks, be made for all men:
2 for kings and all who are in high places; that we may lead a tranquil and quiet life in all godliness and reverence.
3 For this is good and acceptable in the sight of God our Savior;
4 who desires all people to be saved and come to full knowledge of the truth.
5 For there is one God, and one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus,
6 who gave himself as a ransom for all; the testimony in its own times;
7 to which I was appointed a preacher and an apostle (I am telling the truth in Christ, not lying), a teacher of the Gentiles in faith and truth.
8 I desire therefore that the men in every place pray, lifting up holy hands without anger and doubting.
9 In the same way, that women also adorn themselves in decent clothing, with modesty and propriety; not just with braided hair, gold, pearls, or expensive clothing;
10 but (which becomes women professing godliness) with good works.
11 Let a woman learn in quietness with full submission.
12 But I don’t permit a woman to teach, nor to exercise authority over a man, but to be in quietness.
13 For Adam was first formed, then Eve.
14 Adam wasn’t deceived, but the woman, being deceived, has fallen into disobedience;
15 but she will be saved through her childbearing, if they continue in faith, love, and sanctification with sobriety.
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John 17
Jesus praying that they be sanctified by truth, your word is truth
1 Jesus said these things, and lifting up his eyes to heaven, he said, “Father, the time has come. Glorify your Son, that your Son may also glorify you;
2 even as you gave him authority over all flesh, so he will give eternal life to all whom you have given him.
3 This is eternal life, that they should know you, the only true God, and him whom you sent, Jesus Christ.
4 I glorified you on the earth. I have accomplished the work which you have given me to do.
5 Now, Father, glorify me with your own self with the glory which I had with you before the world existed.
6 I revealed your name to the people whom you have given me out of the world. They were yours, and you have given them to me. They have kept your word.
7 Now they have known that all things whatever you have given me are from you,
8 for the words which you have given me I have given to them, and they received them, and knew for sure that I came from you, and they have believed that you sent me.
9 I pray for them. I don’t pray for the world, but for those whom you have given me, for they are yours.
10 All things that are mine are yours, and yours are mine, and I am glorified in them.
11 I am no more in the world, but these are in the world, and I am coming to you. Holy Father, keep them through your name which you have given me, that they may be one, even as we are.
12 While I was with them in the world, I kept them in your name. Those whom you have given me I have kept. None of them is lost, except the son of destruction, that the Scripture might be fulfilled.
13 But now I come to you, and I say these things in the world, that they may have my joy made full in themselves.
14 I have given them your word. The world hated them, because they are not of the world, even as I am not of the world.
15 I pray not that you would take them from the world, but that you would keep them from the evil one.
16 They are not of the world even as I am not of the world.
17 Sanctify them in your truth. Your word is truth.
18 As you sent me into the world, even so I have sent them into the world.
19 For their sakes I sanctify myself, that they themselves also may be sanctified in truth.
20 Not for these only do I pray, but for those also who will believe in me through their word,
21 that they may all be one; even as you, Father, are in me, and I in you, that they also may be one in us; that the world may believe that you sent me.
22 The glory which you have given me, I have given to them; that they may be one, even as we are one;
23 I in them, and you in me, that they may be perfected into one; that the world may know that you sent me, and loved them, even as you loved me.
24 Father, I desire that they also whom you have given me be with me where I am, that they may see my glory, which you have given me, for you loved me before the foundation of the world.
25 Righteous Father, the world hasn’t known you, but I knew you; and these knew that you sent me.
26 I made known to them your name, and will make it known; that the love with which you loved me may be in them, and I in them.”
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Recap
The message in order, in a few minutes of reading.
The pastor opened by grounding the practical commands of Ephesians 4-6 in the identity language of chapters 1-3, then worked through the household codes of chapter 5, arguing that mutual submission is the hinge on which all of them turn. He addressed wives and husbands, children and parents, and slaves and masters in turn, holding the whole section together under the call to be filled with the Spirit.
What was said
The back half of Ephesians can feel like a wagging finger if you come to it cold. The pastor's reason for rehearsing the blessings of chapters 1-3 was to say that all the imperatives that follow land differently when you already know what God has called you. Saints, chosen, redeemed, sealed, adopted, people who carry the same power that raised Jesus from the dead - that is who is being addressed when Paul begins telling the Ephesians how to walk.
The word that holds chapter 5 together is the Greek participle translated "submitting" or "subjecting yourselves." It is the fifth in a string of participles that flow out of the command to be filled with the Spirit: speaking, singing, making melody, giving thanks, and subjecting yourselves to one another in the fear of Christ. The pastor spent time on the grammar because that word is a hinge - it closes Van's passage from two weeks ago and opens the household codes that follow.
Before moving into the text, the pastor named plainly that any congregation this size is going to include both complementarians and egalitarians, and that Ephesians, of all books, has been making the case for unity since chapter one. He noted that the section headings in various Bible translations reflect editorial decisions - the NIV splits before verse 21, the NASB and ESV split after it - and that those headings are not inspired. His own reading was that verse 21 functions as a hinge belonging to both sections.
On wives and husbands, he pointed out that this passage is not about men and women in general. Getting married is a voluntary act, and what follows applies specifically to the marriage relationship. For wives, the verb "subject yourselves" is carried forward from verse 21 rather than restated, which the pastor called an elided verb and described as more gentle in tone. For husbands, the instruction is longer and the standard is higher: love your wives the way Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, which maps directly onto the call in verse 2 for all believers to walk in love just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us. The husband's role in that framework is not to lord anything over his wife but to do everything possible to see her flourish.
The children and parents section draws a distinction that the pastor highlighted. The verb for children is "obey," which is a different and stronger word than the "submit" used for wives. Fathers are told not to provoke their children to anger, and are given the positive charge to bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. The structure mirrors the rest of the household codes: the person in the lower social position is addressed first, and then the person in authority is given a serious charge of their own.
The slaves and masters section he applied to employees and employers, since chattel slavery is not the visible context most people in the room inhabit. The instruction for workers is to do the job sincerely, as to Christ rather than merely when someone is watching. The instruction for those in authority is to give up threatening, because both the boss and the worker answer to the same master in heaven, who shows no partiality.
The pastor closed by tying everything back to the Spirit. All five participles, including the mutual submission that governs the household codes, flow from being filled with the Spirit. Whatever convictions people in the room hold about the complementarian or egalitarian debate, his appeal was that the book calling us to work through those questions is the same book that has spent five chapters insisting on unity, and that grace toward someone who reads it differently is not optional.
Doing a Bible study?
Here is a guide we have prepared for you: the passages in order, questions for the group, and room to write.
- Pastor Mark spent time reading aloud what Paul calls believers in the first chapters of Ephesians before getting to any of the commands in chapters four through six. Why do you think he did that, and how does hearing who you are in Christ change the way you receive the instructions that follow?
- Pastor Mark described the word translated 'submitting' or 'subjecting yourselves' in verse 21 as a hinge that belongs both to what comes before it and to what comes after. What difference does it make to read the household codes as falling under that mutual submission rather than standing apart from it?
and 3 more questions in the guide
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