Ten Things to Make a Good Father

In one paragraph

This message grew out of a week when Pastor couldn't shake two things loose: seeing the film Courageous twice, and sitting through a Wednesday morning men's group lesson on a dad's game plan for raising sons and daughters. He took those two things together and built a list of ten marks of a good parent, walking through each one from Scripture and from his own family life. Pastor opened by naming...

Read together

1. Ephesians 5:28 husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies
2. Colossians 3:21 fathers do not embitter your children or they will become discouraged
3. Psalm 127:3 children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from Him
4. Proverbs 1:5 let the wise listen and add to their learning
5. 1 Timothy 5:8 anyone who does not provide for their relatives and especially their own household
6. Ephesians 6:4 fathers do not exasperate your children, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord
7. 1 Chronicles 16:11 look to the Lord and his strength, seek his face always
8. Psalm 55:17 evening morning and noon I cry out in distress and he hears my voice
9. Proverbs 22:6 start children off on the way they should go and when they are old they will not turn from it
10. Proverbs 23:24 the father of a righteous child has great joy, a man who fathers a wise son rejoices in him

Talk about it

1. Pastor talked about five types of fathers: absent, distant, demanding, involved but visionless, and involved and strategic. Which of these did you grow up with, and how has that shaped the way you parent or plan to parent?
2. Pastor said the quality-of-time idea can become an excuse, and that quantity of time tells children they matter. Where do you feel the tension between those two ideas in your own family life?
3. Pastor pointed to the Penn State situation as an example of people who listened but did not act on what they heard. Can you think of a time, in your own family or elsewhere, when listening without following through caused real harm?
4. Pastor warned against buying children everything they want and said we can actually rob children of the satisfaction of working toward something. How do you decide, practically, where the line is between providing what children need and giving them what they simply want?
5. Pastor said it is not the pastor's job to lead your children to Christ or to be their role model for what a man or woman of God looks like. That responsibility belongs to the parent. What does that look like in day-to-day life, and where do you feel least prepared to carry it?