Tough Guys and Drama Queens - Day 1 (3)

In one paragraph

Mark Gregston, who runs Heartlight Ministries in Texas and has had around 3,000 teenagers live with him over twenty-seven years, spoke to parents about why the ways they naturally engage with their kids stop working once adolescence hits. He drew on his own story and on what he has seen in hundreds of families to make the case that small changes in how parents relate to their teenagers can...

Read together

1. Proverbs 17:28 even a fool appears wise when he keeps his mouth shut
2. Proverbs 18:2 a fool delights in airing his opinion
3. Ephesians 6:4 fathers do not provoke your child to wrath
4. Proverbs 22:6 train up a child in the way he should go, not teach
5. Proverbs 27:17 as iron sharpens iron so shall one man sharpen the other
6. Genesis 2:24 a man shall leave his mother and a woman leave her home
7. Luke 15:11-32 prodigal son story used to illustrate over-responsible parenting and everyone quit giving him everything

Talk about it

1. Mark talked about kids who come from good homes and good backgrounds but still 'spin out' somewhere along the way. Have you seen that happen? What do you think is going on when it does?
2. Mark drew a distinction between seeing a teenager as rebellious versus seeing them as lost, and said it changes how you respond. How does that shift in perspective land with you, and is it easy or hard to hold onto in the moment?
3. Mark said kids are not looking for more information from their parents, they are looking for wisdom, and that there is a real difference between the two. Can you think of a time when you gave information when wisdom was what was actually needed?
4. Mark described the years from one to twelve as mostly about teaching, and the teen years as needing a shift toward training, where the Christian life is caught rather than taught. What would that shift actually look like in a practical, day-to-day way in your home?
5. Mark said that if you have a discipline problem, you have a relationship problem, and that kids will follow wherever the relationship is regardless of how healthy or unhealthy that relationship is. Do you agree with that, and what does it stir up for you as a parent or grandparent?