Tough Guys and Drama Queens - Day 2 (3)

In one paragraph

This was a parenting seminar, not a single sermon, delivered by Mark at First Baptist Jackson. Mark worked through how parents of teenagers can stay close enough to their kids to actually influence them, without abandoning what they believe or pretending to be something they are not. The thread running through everything was a simple conviction: if you have a discipline problem, you have a...

Read together

1. 1 Corinthians 2 mentioned as something being studied that week, in the context of quoting scripture coming across as judgmental to kids
2. Proverbs (unspecified) a fool delights in airing his opinion, and a fool appears wise when he keeps his mouth shut
3. Proverbs (unspecified) a fool is one who answers before the question is asked
4. 1 Corinthians 13 (implied) for now I see in a mirror dimly, used in context of not having all the answers about God's ways
5. Galatians 6:9 do not grow weary in doing good for in due time you will reap if you surely sow
6. Jeremiah 17:5 cursed is the man who puts his trust in man, used in context of not fully trusting kids
7. Proverbs 18 (unspecified verse) if you rescue an angry man once you will just have to rescue him again, used in context of not bailing kids out of consequences
8. Matthew 11:28 come to me all who are weary and heavy laden and you will find rest, contrasted with constant correction and nagging
9. Psalm 139 (unspecified) Lord search me know my heart see if there is any hurtful way in me and lead me in the way everlasting
10. Proverbs 22:6 train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it, used twice in context of letting children grow toward independence

Talk about it

1. Mark talked about things he once held as important that he has since reconsidered, and things he has not budged on at all. What is one conviction you have held tightly as a parent, and how do you decide whether it is worth holding or worth revisiting?
2. Mark said that when a child smokes pot or acts out, the behavior is symptomatic of something deeper going on. Think about a time when you responded to the behavior rather than the underlying need. What might have been different if you had asked more questions first?
3. Mark described the moment his son called to confess an affair, and how Mark responded by shutting the relationship down. He later called that one of his greatest regrets. What does it look like in practice to move toward someone you love at the exact moment you most want to walk away?
4. Mark said teens change because of relationship, not because of authority, and that judgment builds walls while the child hears training. Where in your own home do you think your words or tone might be landing as judgment, even when that is not your intention?
5. Mark described letting the rope out gradually from age 12 to 18, giving kids increasing control over their own choices so their decision-making muscles are built up before they leave home. What is one area where you could give your child more responsibility or freedom right now, and what is holding you back from doing it?